W.O.L.F. Sector
Worlds Of Lesbian Fiction

News Archive for March 2007

Friday, March 2, 2007

Anxiety and Insomnia

Written by Kodi Wolf at 10:24 PM

I hate anxiety and insomnia. The one makes it difficult for me to focus when I'm awake and the other makes it hard for me to fall asleep when I'm tired. I'm used to dealing with a general level of both pretty much every day, but when there's extra stuff that raises those levels above normal, I have problems coping.

Corene is having knee surgery on the 15th. It's not as major as it sounds. She's just having some old torn cartilage scraped out that's leftover from a car accident she was in more than twenty years ago. With doing the renovations on the house, the physical activity has caused fluid to build up in a cyst on the back of her knee, which is painful. The doctor said he could drain the cyst to relieve the pain, but it would come back in a year if they didn't take care of the underlying cause, which is the old torn cartilage. Hence, the surgery.

She'll only be under for about half an hour, and she should be sent home a couple hours after the surgery, and assuming everything goes well, she should be back to work on Monday the 19th, though she'll probably be on crutches for a while. But my little brain can't help thinking of all the things that could go wrong. I've only had Corene for seven years and the thought of losing her over something so trivial... I think I would go insane.

So, I've been trying to focus on other things. I tend to clean when my anxiety is up, so the house is in pretty good shape. I've been trying to write, but my focus is off, so I've only managed a few snippets here and there. Mostly, I've been playing Age of Empires II: The Conqueror's Expansion. It's a fantasy realm where I'm in control, which helps counter some of the anxiety about all the things I'm not in control of. I think it's pretty good therapy, but I still wish I could stop having anxiety attacks all the time. I just want the surgery to be over and done with and everything to be okay, so I can go back to my more normal semi-insane state.

At least Corene understands. She says she loves me, too. :)

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Knee Surgery Update

Written by Kodi Wolf at 4:48 AM

Corene has had her knee surgery and is doing fine. She's walking around almost normally and is off the pain meds (she's just taking one ibuprofen every now and then to try to help the swelling go down). The two wound sites are still draining a little (just enough to stain a band-aid), but they're closing over nicely. The doctor said she shouldn't even have any scars. The only bad thing so far is that the front of her knee is kind of numb and tingly, but I'm hoping that will go away, as opposed to it being some kind of nerve damage. All in all, I think she's doing really well, especially for it being only five days since her surgery.

Then there's me. I'm still trying to calm down from the stress of all this over the past few weeks, not to mention my own stuff that's been coming up regarding my childhood. I've begun working on my stories again, so I think I'm starting to get back to normal.

Maybe I'll even get back to work on this website.

Another Mambo tip:

  • To create an in-domain link, do '../../../../FolderName/' and leave off the base URL.

Thursday, March 29, 2007


Written by Kodi Wolf at 3:31 PM

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia when I was about 10 or 12. Back then, I was told it was a brand new diagnosis. A lot of doctors didn't even think it was real (some still don't). The main thing I remember about being diagnosed back then was that I'd been seeing a ton of different doctors within my mom's HMO and none of them seemed to know what was wrong with me. The last doctor finally handed me a pamphlet and said, "Here, read this and see if this is what you have." I remember thinking, "But aren't you the doctor? Aren't you supposed to diagnose me?" When I went back to my regular doctor, they told me I had arthritis. When I asked, "What kind? Rheumatoid? Juvenile?" They said, "We don't know. You just have arthritis." This was less than helpful, since no one ever told me what I should or shouldn't do about it. I was left with the feeling that everyone thought I was making it up to get attention and so there was nothing anyone could do for me because I was crazy.

However, I still usually put down arthritis and fibromyalgia whenever I have to fill out one of those medical history forms when I see a new doctor, but I've never really had much faith in the diagnosis or even really read up on it. I just knew it was associated with chronic fatigue syndrome and probably involved being tired most of the time.

Well, yesterday, I went to see a physical therapist to help me deal with some intense back pain I've been having. I noticed on the referral sheet that my doctor had put down fibromyalgia as the reason for the referral, but I wasn't sure why, since he hadn't mentioned to me that he thought my pain had something to do with that particular diagnosis. Anyway, the physical therapist sat me down and poked me in different places where I was tender and then told me that I do have fibromyalgia and so I need to take it easy and be gentle with my body. She gave me some stretching techniques and suggested I check out some books from the library on fibromyalgia.

Well, guess what? Some of the main symptoms of fibromyalgia are fatigue, dysfunctional sleep (insomnia), joint pain, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), depression, sensitivity to weather and temperature changes, headaches (tension headaches from tight neck muscles), anxiety, and stiffness. When Corene read the symptoms in one of the books I checked out, she said, "This sounds exactly like you."

So, maybe I'm not crazy after all.