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Saturday, December 29, 2007

Felix Has A Lump

Written by Kodi Wolf at 9:55 AM

We had to take my cat Felix to the vet last night because I found a lump on her throat. The vet shaved the area and poked it with a syringe to get some cells to test. She wasn't able to do a full biopsy, but she told us that she couldn't see any mass cells (I think I have that right), which means at the very least, if it is cancerous, it isn't the most aggressive kind. She prescribed an antibiotic and hot compresses. If it gets smaller, but doesn't go away completely, she'll do another round of antibiotics, but if it doesn't go down or gets bigger, then she said we should have it removed. Then they can send it for testing to see what it is and what else we might need to do or just be aware of.

Felix is my familiar. For those who don't know what that is, she's basically my best friend in animal form, my spiritual and emotional guide and mentor. She's taught me to feel, to love, and to hope in a way that no human ever could have because I never would have trusted those lessons from a human.

Animals don't really lie. When Felix wants to be held, she comes to me or she lets me pick her up. When she doesn't, she leaves or tries to get out of my arms. When a human does that, it can feel too needy or like a rejection, but when Felix does it, she's just telling me what she wants and I can respect that and accept it. And if I'm the one who needs to leave, I know I'm not going to have to explain anything or feel guilty (well, as long as we're only talking about a few hours; vacations are kind of hard because I know she misses me when I'm gone by how she leaps into my arms when I return and refuses to be put down; of course, I miss her just as much).

Anyway, I'm trying not to freak out about the possibility of her having something terminal. As Corene has told me, she's dreading the day Felix dies. She knows I'll probably be the definition of inconsolable, and she's probably right. I will not handle that day well. I just hope it isn't coming anytime soon.