A Bondage Primer

Day 5

Saturday, October 18

Ryan sat on McKenzie's bed.

The girl had called earlier to let Ryan know she was running late due to her usual study session being delayed a couple hours, but Ryan hadn't minded. She'd worked on a client's website until it was almost time. Then she'd let herself into the house and gone directly to McKenzie's room to wait for her.

Over the past two days, Ryan had managed to curb her normally intense libido and hoped McKenzie had done the same. She really didn't want to have to postpone her pleasure any longer than necessary. But if she had to, she'd do it. If she couldn't hold out for the amount of time she expected of McKenzie, then she had no business being the Dom in this relationship. It did put extra strain on her. McKenzie was allowed to beg, but she wasn't. And she had to be able to hold out against McKenzie's entreaties, even though she wanted nothing more than to give in.

Of course, that really was what made it all worth it. The constant testing of wills. Dominance and submission. She might have learned her skills in a less than wonderful environment, but she'd always tried to look at the bright side of things, putting bad experiences to good use.

Ryan appreciated the psychology behind Dom/sub relationships and enjoyed the dynamics involved. Her only worry concerning McKenzie was that it would be too much for the girl. What if McKenzie couldn't take what Ryan had to give?

Ryan shook her head. If that happened, then it happened. There wouldn't be anything she could really do about it. Dom/sub relationships only worked when they were based on mutual need and trust. She wouldn't force McKenzie to remain with her. Psychological blackmail was not a part of the program. But hadn't she told herself only two days ago that it was too soon to start worrying about the future? That had been in response to McKenzie's remark about not wanting to stop. Ever. So what was she worrying about?

Ryan stood up from the bed to distract herself and walked around the four-poster monstrosity. The thing was huge. King-sized, there was more than enough room to play on its surface without fear of falling off an edge. The dark brown leather headboard accented the rich cherry wood perfectly and was crowned with a decoratively carved focal point. She grasped each thick Grecian-style column and shook it, or tried to anyway. Between the black wrought iron canopy and the solid joins at the base of each column, they were all quite sturdy, refusing to move under her influence. She filed that information away for future reference.

Ryan looked around the rest of the room. It was almost as large as her entire apartment and came with two huge walk-in closets. Ryan knew the one built out into the room near the entrance was used to store excess art supplies that didn't fit in the smaller closet of the art studio across the hall. The other closet was twice as large and could've been a bedroom in its own right. Its door was located at the far end of the wall across from the bed.

Before that though, was the door to the massive en suite bathroom, and between the doors to the larger closet and the bathroom sat a dresser in the same style as the bed along with a small desk and a tall bookshelf stuffed to capacity. On the opposite side of the room in the corner to the left of the bed and its matching nightstands was a padded armchair. Along the far wall from the entrance, a set of French doors led out onto a huge deck. To the left of the doors sat a wooden blanket chest and to the right stood an antique white vanity. Ryan had carried in the vanity only last month when one of McKenzie's grandmothers had sent it to her as a 'starting your second year of college' gift.

Ryan smiled as she remembered how excited McKenzie had been to receive the family heirloom, the girl going on and on about the hours she'd spent playing dress up and make believe with her Nana when she was little. Then McKenzie had wound down, unable to keep the sadness out of her eyes at how long it had been since she'd seen any of her grandparents. They were apparently all quite active and traveled a lot, and McKenzie moving away for college hadn't made visits any easier.

Ryan heard footsteps coming down the hallway and turned to face the doorway just as McKenzie pushed the door open to enter her room.

"Hi," McKenzie said as soon as she saw the tall woman standing by her bed. Her smile lit up her face and she completely forgot about the names and dates running through her brain from the study group she'd just left.

"Hey." Ryan sat down on the bed and wrapped an arm around the thick bedpost, resting her head against its cool wooden surface. "How did your studying go?"

"Ugh. I hate art history. We got a little work done, but I think everyone just likes to get together to bitch about how much they hate the subject," she grinned.

"Well, I guess as long as you pass, it doesn't really matter."

"Oh, I better pass. I'm not doing all this again. That's why I subject myself to two of these stupid study groups every weekend."

Ryan watched as McKenzie set her backpack on her desk and hung her jacket on the back of the chair. McKenzie kicked off her shoes and then climbed onto the bed. She scooted to the head of the bed and then sat back and relaxed against the headboard.

"So... How have you been?" McKenzie asked, trying not to cringe at her lame attempt to keep the conversation going.

Ryan smiled, recognizing the question for what it was as the girl fiddled with her hands in her lap.

"Well, I got a new client this afternoon. It looks like she's got everything she needs to build her site. She just needs someone to design it and convert everything into HTML. Should be a pretty straightforward job."

"Cool. You know, once you get your name out there, you're going to have a waiting list of people wanting you to design their homepages."

"Nah. I'm still just a beginner."

"But you said yourself that you learn new stuff all the time. While all those other hotshots become obsolete, you're going to keep updating your skills. That's really going to count with your clients."

"Hopefully."

They lapsed into silence. They had always talked about these kinds of things and it was nice to know this part of their friendship still existed, that it hadn't been pushed aside as they added this new facet to their relationship. But they both had other things on their minds. Their eyes met after a couple of minutes and they each held the other's gaze for several long moments. Then Ryan spoke.

"Unzip your jeans, McKenzie."

McKenzie felt her breath catch at the softly spoken command. She continued to stare into Ryan's eyes as her hands obeyed without her conscious effort. She unbuttoned the top button of her jeans and then pulled down the zipper. She folded back the edges and waited for Ryan's next demand.

Ryan was pleased with McKenzie's obedience, doing only as she was told.

"Have you touched yourself since I told you not to?"

"No."

McKenzie's voice was hoarse and she cleared her throat.

"Did you attempt to get around my order by squeezing your legs together?" Ryan asked knowingly.

McKenzie looked down. She had tried that, but then realized what she was doing and stopped.

"Answer me," Ryan said a little more forcefully.

"Yes. I started to, but then I stopped."

"Why?"

McKenzie looked back up and met Ryan's eyes.

"Because you told me I couldn't have release until you said so."

"Good. Do you still want release?"

"Yes. Please, Ryan."

McKenzie's hands were laid flat on either side of her opened jeans and Ryan watched as the tendons twitched minutely. McKenzie was just waiting for Ryan's command to touch herself.

"Have you truly earned it?" Ryan baited her.

McKenzie opened her mouth to respond, and then shut it again as she thought about it. Her evaluation done, she spoke.

"Yes. I didn't touch myself and I didn't come. Please, Ryan?"

McKenzie's hips bucked slightly against her jeans, her body remembering the pleasure she'd gained several days ago from such movements. She grimaced at the momentary loss of control. She spread her thighs slightly to keep from rubbing against her jeans again. She wasn't sure she would be able to obey if Ryan decided she needed a lengthier lesson in control.

"Undress yourself, McKenzie."

McKenzie released the breath she'd been holding and clambered off the bed. She shed her T-shirt, jeans, socks, underwear, and bra in only a few moments and waited to be allowed back on the bed. Ryan nodded and McKenzie resumed her previous position.

"How do you usually touch yourself, McKenzie?"

McKenzie thought for a moment.

"Do you want me to tell you or show you?"

Ryan smiled. Oh, she was a fast learner.

"A little of both. Touch yourself and tell me what you're thinking about. I want to know what makes you feel good. And then I'm going to help you make it feel even better."

McKenzie slid her hand down to her labia and slipped her fingers into a very familiar position around her clit. She began rubbing and then looked over to see Ryan rising off the bed to remove her own clothing. When Ryan was done, she lay stretched out across the foot of the bed, her head only a short distance away from McKenzie's feet so that she could see exactly what the girl was doing. Ryan started pinching her nipples while she watched McKenzie's hand stroke herself.

"Do you always start touching your clit immediately?" Ryan asked.

"Yes."

McKenzie's breathing was a little fast.

"So you've only experienced foreplay with others?"

"You mean kissing?" McKenzie clarified.

"That's part of it, especially when you're with someone else. But there are many things you can do with yourself. What I'm doing right now is a good beginning."

Ryan stopped pinching and rolling her nipples and palmed her breasts, squeezing a few times, then ran her hands up her neck and into her hair. She clawed her fingers through her hair, fanning it out across the bed, and her eyes closed at the sensations. She opened them again and turned her head to focus on McKenzie's face. Her hands ran back down her body and she stroked her stomach and then the outsides of her thighs.

"Do you remember what I said? About your body? Every square inch of your skin can be stimulated to bring pleasure if you know how. I want you to learn how to experiment."

"Learn how?"

"Yes. I want you to learn how to let yourself go. You were surprised by what I had you do the other day, weren't you?"

McKenzie was still rubbing herself, watching Ryan caress her own body adding to her pleasure. She wasn't sure how she was carrying on a conversation at the moment, but she did her best to follow along. She thought back to when Ryan had told her to touch her own anus.

"Yes."

"Because you were taught that it served only one purpose."

"Yes."

"Just as you seem to be under the impression that the only place to gain sexual pleasure is from your clit. I want you to drop those misconceptions. I want you to be completely open to me and to yourself."

Ryan used one hand to stroke her inner thigh and brought her other hand up to her mouth. She let her index and middle fingers slip inside her mouth and sucked on them, her eyes closing as she thought about sucking on McKenzie's tongue, her essence, her fingers... The images blended together.

Ryan removed her fingers and trailed them down her body, pinching one of her nipples on the way, and then grazed over her hidden nub. She tangled her fingers in the curly dark hair of her sex and opened her eyes to see how McKenzie was doing.

McKenzie's eyelids were halfway closed and she didn't blink as she watched Ryan, her view bracketed by her own raised knees. Ryan used one hand to push her thighs wider apart and then dipped the index finger of her other hand deeply inside herself. McKenzie whimpered and rubbed herself harder. Ryan's groan was so low, it almost didn't register as sound.

"McKenzie."

Ryan slid her finger back out of herself and brought it up to her lips. She snaked her tongue out and touched the base of her finger with the tip. She dragged her tongue all the way up and then groaned as she tasted what had been gathered. McKenzie whimpered even more loudly and Ryan opened her eyes to look at McKenzie again.

"You're close, aren't you?" Ryan stated the obvious.

McKenzie bit her bottom lip and nodded several times with quick jerks of her head.

"Please," McKenzie managed to get out and then her voice turned into a whimper again.

"If I told you to stop, would you?"

McKenzie looked like she was about to cry, but she bit her lip a little harder and nodded again, even going so far as to slow her hand's movements down a little.

"Come for me, McKenzie."

The command went straight to McKenzie's groin and she threw her head back as her hips jerked up and her body finally found release after having been denied for so long. She cried out for Ryan, saying things she knew she would probably regret later, but unable to stop herself in the moment.

Ryan watched the girl's body convulse as it was racked with spasms and smiled. When McKenzie finally learned a little stamina, she'd be incredible. Hell, she was incredible now, but with a little more training, McKenzie would be able to sustain prolonged arousal, which would eventually lead to prolonged orgasms.

McKenzie had already demonstrated her responsiveness to vocal stimulation and internal visualization. Ryan was positive that with enough reinforcement, McKenzie would be capable of not only holding herself back, but also letting go completely when Ryan issued a simple verbal command. Pavlov had nothing on Ryan.

Ryan was suddenly pulled from her thoughts as several of McKenzie's exclamations caught her by surprise. It had been a little garbled, but she'd definitely heard a declaration of love in there between McKenzie praising several deities and Ryan herself. A lot of people did that during the throes of passion, but she hadn't expected it from McKenzie. Judging by her own reaction, Ryan was sure she'd been subconsciously hoping McKenzie felt that deeply for her, but having it come out in such a way invalidated it, at least in Ryan's mind.

McKenzie came back to herself and looked at Ryan a little shyly. Maybe she hadn't heard her, but one look at Ryan's face told her Ryan had definitely heard her accidental disclosure of her real feelings. Was it too much too soon?

Ryan decided to let it go. Her body was telling her it was way overdue for its own release. She slid her still wet finger down her body, until it was poised just outside her vagina. She looked at McKenzie and slowly entered herself. Her legs moved farther apart in reflex and with the second thrust, she added her middle finger. Ryan pumped in and out of herself in a steady rhythm, using the base of her thumb to rub her clit.

McKenzie watched in complete fascination as Ryan pushed her fingers inside herself over and over, her breathy grunts and moans punctuating each thrust of her hand. McKenzie's own arousal was returning, but she wasn't sure she was allowed to touch herself again.

Ryan continued to watch McKenzie's reactions, while she worked her own body to a much needed release. It was obvious McKenzie was excited again. But that was good. Ryan wanted McKenzie to get used to being in a constant state of arousal. There were many different ways she intended to reach that goal, but for right now, unfulfilled desire would do just fine.

McKenzie watched as Ryan's free hand caressed her breast. Ryan massaged the fleshy mound, pinched the tip, and then pushed the underside up slightly with the palm of her hand before starting the routine all over again.

As a particularly intense wave of pleasure passed through her, Ryan's head pushed back into the bed and her back arched, pushing her breast up into her own hand. She kneaded the area harder and her pelvis began jerking up with more forceful movements against her fingers.

Ryan turned her head to look at McKenzie again. McKenzie's eyes were glassy and her skin was flushed. Her mouth was hanging open slightly. When their eyes met, McKenzie unconsciously licked her lips and Ryan felt her first orgasm slide through her body, making way for the next. She gasped out a low yell and saw McKenzie's fists clench in the sheets on either side of her small body.

It was taking all the willpower McKenzie had not to reach out and touch Ryan. She wanted to suck at Ryan's unattended breast and an image of straddling Ryan's thigh as Ryan thrust her hips into the air came unbidden into McKenzie's mind.

"McKenzie... Spread your legs for me," Ryan grunted out.

McKenzie's thighs were moving farther apart before she was even consciously aware of the order. Her position gave Ryan a direct view of her pussy and Ryan was staring right at it. Her muscles tightened and released in time with Ryan's movements. Oh how McKenzie wanted to touch herself. Or better yet, have Ryan touch her.

Ryan couldn't take her eyes off McKenzie's pulsating labia. The entrance to the blonde's vagina was soaked and glistened in the light of the room. Ryan closed her eyes when her second orgasm took her, but she refused to stop and it was closely followed by a third that caused her to cry out McKenzie's name.

As the waves of pleasure eased off in intensity, Ryan slowed her thrusting and lowered her body back down to the bed. After a minute, she stopped massaging the entrance to her vagina and pulled her fingers away. She sucked on her fingers and allowed herself to bask in the afterglow. Finally, she pushed herself up to a sitting position and faced McKenzie, who didn't appear to have blinked since the last time Ryan had looked at her.

Ryan spoke softly.

"The key is to love yourself, McKenzie. Do to yourself what you would like to do to me or would like me to do to you. There's only one rule. You will not enter yourself during your explorations."

McKenzie nodded.

Ryan got up from the bed. She put her clothes back on and then stared down at McKenzie for a long moment. McKenzie didn't look away.

"You're so beautiful, McKenzie. Do you know how much you tempt me?"

McKenzie shook her head, her eyes still locked with Ryan's.

"There is so much more I want to show you. And I will."

McKenzie nodded.

"Goodnight, McKenzie."

McKenzie nodded again. She couldn't make her mouth work. Ryan smiled in understanding and then left.

As soon as Ryan closed the door behind her, McKenzie fell back against her pillows. She blew out a breath, trying to calm her pounding heart.

She thought over what Ryan had said. Only one rule. So if she wanted to, she could satisfy herself again.

McKenzie placed her fingers over her clit and immediately began to rub. Her hips rolled slightly with her movements and she was quickly panting from the pleasure she was giving herself. Then she heard Ryan's voice in her mind again.

"Do to yourself what you would like to do to me or would like me to do to you."

Ryan wanted her to explore herself, explore her options, use her imagination, and here she was falling back into the habit of just rubbing her clit. McKenzie slowed her movements and then removed her fingers. What did she want to do to Ryan? What did she want Ryan to do to her?

McKenzie scooted down a little and lowered her legs to rest against the bed and spread them slightly apart. She closed her eyes and tried to picture Ryan with her. This Ryan was under her complete control. She could make her fantasy do whatever she wanted. And she could do anything to her fantasy in return.

McKenzie saw Ryan sit on the edge of the bed and reach out a hand to rest on McKenzie's stomach. McKenzie let her own hand rest where the fantasy Ryan had placed her hand. She rubbed over the exposed flesh, just barely letting her palm graze her skin, and felt the invisible downy hairs on her lower abdomen brush lightly against her fingertips. McKenzie felt tingles spread across her skin wherever her hand touched and she smiled.

McKenzie caressed her skin and imagined Ryan's hand moving to trace a line over her torso, around her breasts, and up to her neck. McKenzie clawed her fingers through her hair the way she'd seen Ryan do, and then stopped as the next images came unbidden into her mind.

Ryan gently brought McKenzie's arms up above her head and then held them down together at the wrists with one of her own strong hands. That left her other hand free to roam McKenzie's body and McKenzie could do nothing to stop her.

McKenzie was amazed at the intense pleasure she felt curling in her lower belly just from the idea of being at Ryan's mercy. There was no doubt in her mind that she wanted to be owned by Ryan. She knew she'd fallen for the woman the first second she'd laid eyes on her and getting to know Ryan over the past few months had only made the feelings grow stronger. Now that she had Ryan's attention, she made a promise to herself right then and there that she would do anything to gain Ryan's love.

McKenzie went along with the fantasy and imagined Ryan using her free hand to cup one of McKenzie's breasts while she continued to hold McKenzie's arms down. In reality though, McKenzie used her own unrestrained hand to squeeze the mound and felt her back arch slightly into the touch. Her breathing had picked up again and a part of McKenzie's mind was surprised at the effect her hand and thoughts were having on her body. She'd never taken the time to really touch herself before, keeping it all in her mind while she rubbed her clit. It was a new experience.

The assignment Ryan had given her before was different because she'd had a task to perform and a goal to reach. Plus, she'd been trying not to fantasize because she'd known she wouldn't be able to find satisfaction afterwards. But this was free form. She could touch herself however she wanted for as long as she wanted. She was in control of everything with no restrictions. Well, one restriction, but she'd never done that to herself anyway, so she didn't really think too much about it.

In McKenzie's mind, Ryan's hand moved to McKenzie's other breast and Ryan began to methodically squeeze the fleshy mounds in turn.

McKenzie brought up her other hand from where it had been resting at her side and squeezed her unattended breast to match her reality to the fantasy. Her nipples were hard and she felt them press into her palms. She imagined how that would feel to Ryan, what Ryan's reaction would be, and thought it would probably please the woman. She rubbed her palms over her nipples, pressing them harder, then eased off until her palms just barely grazed the taut flesh. She found she liked that better, since it created more friction on the tips of her nipples.

McKenzie moved her hands so the undersides of her fingers could rub over the tight little buds and her hips arched. She kept her fingers stiff, creating hard ridges to chafe over her tits. It caused her nipples to become even more stimulated and McKenzie gasped slightly. She moved her fingers across her tits even faster to increase the sensations.

Her legs had risen automatically at some point and her hips were now circling without her conscious knowledge. McKenzie felt her vaginal muscles flexing and tensing in a natural rhythm that was in sync with her gyrations. Whatever her body was doing, it was adding to her pleasure and she didn't try to stop it.

McKenzie ceased rubbing her nipples and began pinching them, lightly at first, then increasing the pressure. She moaned low under her breath and imagined Ryan sucking on her nipples. The low moan increased in volume and she felt an indescribable sensation run through her stomach and into her groin.

"Ryan... Yes," McKenzie whispered under her breath.

She imagined Ryan sucking harder and pinched her nipples in conjunction with her fantasy's erotic images.

"Oh God, Ryan," McKenzie said a little louder.

Her hips were bucking up in a slightly faster rhythm than before and McKenzie decided her first night's explorations were done. She needed release.

McKenzie allowed one of her hands to continue working her tit, picturing Ryan's mouth wrapped around her nipple, while her other hand slid along her skin, imagining it was Ryan's hand gliding down the center of her body towards her sex. McKenzie's knees parted a little in reflex as her hand made its descent, but as soon as she imagined Ryan's fingers stroking her clit while her own fingers did the same in reality, McKenzie's thighs spread wide apart and her pelvis tilted up.

McKenzie let out a gasp and her fingers moved a little lower to gather her wetness and bring it up to lubricate her clit. There was no stopping after that. McKenzie's fingers moved fast in tight little circles around her clit and she imagined Ryan's tongue licking her, the image from several days ago still vivid in her mind. She pinched her nipple hard and bucked her pelvis up, seeing her hips thrust into Ryan's face in her mind. She panted out several moans that turned into short sharp cries, and the sounds, thinking of Ryan listening to her cry out, brought her to climax.

"Ryan, God, Ryan..." came out in harsh breathy gasps as McKenzie felt her whole body become rigid.

McKenzie rode out her orgasm and slowly let her body come back down to the bed. She gave her clit a few more gentle rubs and then let out a long slow breath as her body calmed. She rubbed her nipple a few more times, too, before letting both of her hands fall away from her body.

McKenzie opened her eyes and looked around her room. She saw the open door to her bathroom and realized she should probably get up and clean herself before going to sleep. She'd have to get up anyway to turn off the overhead lights.

She sat up and moved to crawl off the bed and felt something distinctly wet on the backs of her thighs and butt. She stood up and turned around to look at her sheets. There was a small puddle in the middle of them and she grinned in embarrassment at herself.

"Shit, I thought that was only supposed to happen to guys?" she said under her breath and reached for the edge of the blanket and sheets. She would have to change the bedding.

McKenzie finished with the tedious chore and then washed up in her bathroom. She flicked off the lights and finally crawled between the new clean sheets, pulling the covers over herself. Even after finding release twice in the same hour, sleep still didn't come to McKenzie until much later.

* * *

Ryan was still awake. She'd gone home and set to work updating one of her client's websites. She'd converted the latest materials she'd received into internet compatible formats and then uploaded the new pages to the site.

Now, however, she was lying in bed and trying not to let her mind wander to a certain young blonde in the house next door. A way too easily accessible blonde when it came right down to it. Ryan knew if she went over there now and woke the girl up, she'd get no protests.

Ryan groaned. Those kinds of thoughts really weren't helping. Then again...

Ryan let herself get comfortable. It was warm in her room, so she didn't even have a sheet covering her naked body. She let her fingers absently trail over her skin, starting at the tops of her thighs and lazily dragging her fingertips over her flat stomach and up along her sides. She used her palms to almost cup her breasts as she continued her tactile trek over the soft globes.

As her palms moved past her nipples, she kept them from contacting her body again and just let the tips of her fingers graze the skin of her upper chest to her neck. Then she let her fingernails and the backs of her fingers trail over her cheeks to her temples and finally into her hair. She loved the feeling of her fingers running through her hair and scratched gently at the base of her neck. That always had a relaxing, yet arousing, effect on her.

Ryan thought about McKenzie as her hands continued to comb through her long hair, fanning it out behind her. She saw McKenzie standing in front of her. Ryan walked up to her and stared at her for a minute, studying her open face and naked body.

"McKenzie, do you understand submission and domination? Do you understand what it means? What it means to me and what it will mean to you?" Ryan asked the question in her mind.

She saw McKenzie shake her head. Ryan knew the girl was innocent and probably wouldn't be able to put it into words for herself. McKenzie seemed to understand it at an instinctual level, but Ryan realized she needed to say the words for her own peace of mind. Sometimes her fantasies were a way for her to work things out and this was one of those times. But Ryan also knew hearing herself explain these things to McKenzie, and imagining McKenzie's acceptance, would help draw her into her fantasy world and make the ultimate outcome that much more pleasurable.

"I want to own you. I want you to need me so much that even pain feels like pleasure because I'm the one giving it to you. I want to hear you beg for me. Your moans, the way you breathe, your need for me is the most beautiful thing in the world to me, and I will do everything I can to please you. As long as you give me control, sacrifice your will to me, submit to me, I will give you everything you need, everything you want. But the second you challenge me..."

Ryan shook her head in her mind. She didn't want to think about a disobedient sub right now. She wanted to pleasure McKenzie.

"I want to make you come again and again, McKenzie. And I will."

Ryan could see the submission in McKenzie's eyes, the need and desire and acceptance, the same look she'd seen on McKenzie's face just before Ryan had let her come a few hours earlier. Ryan felt her body's arousal jump up several notches and moved her fantasy body to McKenzie's. She brought her hand up to hold McKenzie's face, then leaned down to kiss her.

Their lips touched and Ryan imagined how soft they would be, the feel of McKenzie's hot breath coming from her nostrils as her breathing increased, the brushing of their lips together as Ryan moved over the girl's mouth. But then it wasn't enough and Ryan imagined her tongue pushing between McKenzie's easily parted lips.

Ryan could almost feel her tongue inside McKenzie's mouth and her jaw dropped open slightly in reality as she thought about accepting McKenzie's tongue into her own mouth in return. In her mind, Ryan's other hand went to McKenzie's hip and then around to her butt to pull her in closer and McKenzie's arms came up to rest on Ryan's shoulders around her neck.

Ryan lowered her hand from the girl's face, trailing it down her ribs and side to grab a hold of McKenzie's other buttcheek. As she kissed the enthusiastic girl, Ryan parted McKenzie's cheeks again and again, massaging the fleshy globes with her fingers. She ground McKenzie against her body and forced her thigh between the girl's legs. She started moving McKenzie up and down on her thigh and felt McKenzie pick up the cadence as the girl rocked her hips.

She imagined McKenzie trying to give a little back to her benefactor, mirroring Ryan's own movements, trying to press her own thigh between Ryan's legs, but Ryan knew she didn't want that. At least, not yet. She pulled her lips away from McKenzie's and looked into her eyes.

"No, baby, I don't need that right now. I just want to feel you working yourself on me. I want you to get off on me."

Ryan bent her leg up slightly to help McKenzie ride her thigh a little harder. She heard McKenzie moan in her mind and her own breathing increased.

"Yeah, let me hear you. Work yourself for me."

Ryan felt McKenzie push herself down harder against the solid thigh between her legs, trying to rub her clit more specifically to increase her pleasure for Ryan's benefit. Ryan enjoyed imagining McKenzie's juices coating the skin covering her quadriceps, the muscles sliding along McKenzie's clit, intensifying the sensations the girl would feel while riding her.

Ryan remembered how wet McKenzie had looked after just a few minutes of stimulation and knew the girl would be drenched by now. Ryan ran her hand down McKenzie's ass until she could feel the dripping entrance to her vagina. She heard McKenzie gasp and whimper in her mind and watched her try to tilt her opening back towards Ryan's fingers, but Ryan just gathered her wetness and spread it over McKenzie's anus.

Ryan massaged the area, letting her slick fingers slide all around the puckered opening. She looked into McKenzie's eyes, which were pleading with her to enter her ass, and Ryan moved her hands in reality so that they massaged her breasts and lower abdomen. Her hips were rocking slightly in time with McKenzie's rhythm in her mind and her clit was begging for some attention, but Ryan held off on touching herself just yet.

In the fantasy, Ryan eased the tip of her index finger just slightly inside McKenzie's anal opening. She heard McKenzie gasp again, but Ryan held onto her hip with her other hand to prevent McKenzie from trying to impale herself on the lone finger. If the first time hurt, it would be even more difficult to get McKenzie to relax enough to attempt a second try.

Ryan could feel the resistance of McKenzie's tight ass as she tried to push her finger in a little more. The sounds she imagined McKenzie making brought Ryan's hand to her clitoris in real life and she immediately started working on herself, bringing the warm fluid up from her vaginal opening to coat her sensitive nub. She used slow circles around her clit while she imagined pushing her finger deeper into McKenzie.

Ryan knew the slick wetness she'd used on McKenzie's ass realistically wouldn't go very far, so she removed her finger again and used her other fingers to pull more wetness up to the tight sphincter. She pushed in again and was able to immediately reach where she'd left off before.

"Yes," she heard McKenzie breathe out for her.

"It feels good, doesn't it?" Ryan asked rhetorically.

She heard McKenzie grunt her assent and saw her nod her head. Ryan pulled her finger out almost to the tip and pushed in again very slowly until she was past her first knuckle. McKenzie moaned and whimpered as she pushed her clit harder against Ryan's thigh. Ryan knew that the first time could be an incredibly intense experience if it was handled right. As far as Ryan was concerned, she was just practicing for the real thing.

Ryan slid her finger out to the tip again and then inexorably made her way back in, just to her second knuckle. The moan she drew from McKenzie in her mind made her fingers work a little faster on her clit in reality.

Then she saw McKenzie leaning forward, licking out with her tongue just before taking Ryan's nipple into her mouth to suck. The image sent flutters of pleasure through Ryan's abdomen and she quickly brought the fingers of her other hand up to her mouth to wet them before lowering them to her breast again. She pinched and rolled her nipple, groaning at the sensation of the hard flesh slipping between her wet fingers as she imagined McKenzie's tongue flicking her nipple in quick succession. She groaned again as her legs spread a little further apart and Ryan knew she would have to enter herself soon. The need was simply becoming too great to ignore.

Ryan removed her finger from McKenzie's ass and again used her other fingers to drag more of McKenzie's juices up to lubricate her anus. That feeling of sliding in and out of a slippery ass was an incredible turn-on for Ryan and she wanted to imagine that sensation as realistically as she possibly could.

She pushed her finger back inside McKenzie's anal opening and didn't stop her slow entry until she reached the base of her finger. She held her finger inside McKenzie, imagining how the girl's ass would pulse around the intrusion while McKenzie groaned around the nipple in her mouth and continued to grind herself against Ryan's thigh.

"God, you're so tight McKenzie. Do you know how good you feel to me? How much I wanna fuck you? Make you come?"

Ryan moaned at the truth of her words. She rocked her hips in the fantasy to bring McKenzie a little closer to her, so the girl could ride her thigh a little higher and thereby increase the pressure against McKenzie's clit.

Ryan slowly withdrew her finger from McKenzie's ass and then moved it right back in, a little faster than she had before. Ryan was getting close to her own climax and decided realism be damned, she wanted to fuck McKenzie and get herself off at the same time.

Ryan sped up her movements in and out of McKenzie and could very easily imagine the smooth interior skin of McKenzie's anal walls sliding over and around her finger as she worked McKenzie's ass. Her other hand moved from McKenzie's hip to rub the backs of her index and middle fingers against McKenzie's clit, while in reality Ryan's fingers pushed inside her own very slick entrance. She started off slow, arching her pelvis up to drive her fingers deeper inside herself, reveling in the sensations in the very pit of her stomach that came with each penetration.

Ryan imagined McKenzie finally pulling her mouth away from Ryan's breast, no longer able to concentrate as the pleasure overwhelmed her. She heard McKenzie constantly whimpering and crying out at the overload of sensations her body was feeling and moved her finger in and out of McKenzie's anus faster and faster until she was working the girl as fast as McKenzie was rubbing herself against Ryan's thigh. Ryan sped up her movements inside herself to match the rhythm she had created in her mind and tilted her pelvis and angled her fingers to pound against her G-spot.

"Do you want to come for me, McKenzie?" Ryan asked in her mind.

She got an incoherent whimper and begging eyes that were desperately trying not to roll back into the girl's head.

"Tell me, McKenzie. I need to hear you say it."

Ryan worked herself harder and went back and forth between the images she was creating in her mind and the sensations she was causing in her body.

"Please..." Ryan watched McKenzie struggle to form words, just as she had during their first session. "Please, let me come, Ryan. God, please... I can't... I can't stop... I'm going to..."

Ryan listened to McKenzie's whimpers for several more moments. Ryan felt McKenzie move her clit against Ryan's fingers and McKenzie's ass could offer no more resistance to Ryan's penetrations. The feelings of power and control over McKenzie's body and mind sent waves of pleasure through Ryan.

"Do it. Come for me," Ryan told McKenzie.

She felt McKenzie's muscles clench around her, and then McKenzie screamed just as loud as Ryan remembered it as she jerked her body against Ryan's. Ryan felt her own body react to the pleasure she saw in McKenzie and she bucked up to meet her fingers as she cried out McKenzie's name. She prolonged the orgasm, controlling her breathing and muscle spasms and never ceasing her strokes over her clit or her thrusts inside her vagina. Finally, her back quit arching and she was able to begin gasping for air again.

Ryan let her fingers rest inside herself and gently massaged her clitoris and labia for several minutes afterwards. It was calming and she knew it gave her subconscious the message that she really did love herself, something she had almost never received from anyone else in a sexual situation. It felt good to be nice to herself.

Ryan finally released her fingers from within and slid her other fingers away from her clit. She absently wiped her hands off on the edge of her sheets and turned over on her side, grabbing one of her pillows to curl up around it. Her mind was still somewhat in the fantasy and she could easily imagine holding McKenzie in her arms as they calmed down from their lovemaking. The lack in reality made her heart ache. She wanted McKenzie with her.

Ryan grimaced as she pushed the pillow away and sat up, bringing her legs over the edge of the bed and resting her head in her hands.

She'd never been drawn to anyone the way she was to McKenzie. It was like they fit together. That was one of the reasons why Ryan had felt content to wait until McKenzie was older before she started anything with her. They enjoyed the same things, had the same sense of humor, and even when they were quiet together, there didn't seem to be that awkwardness. She just enjoyed being around the girl.

But now that they'd started this, Ryan found it impossible to stop. McKenzie seemed to fill an empty place in Ryan's soul and she didn't think she'd be able to just walk away, even if it was the right thing to do.

"God, I think I'm in love with you, McKenzie," Ryan whispered to the empty room.

Ryan stilled. She hadn't known what she was going to say until the words were already out, but now that she'd said them, she realized it was true and that it wasn't exactly a revelation. She'd been subconsciously aware of her feelings all along.

That was why she'd refused to even consider having a one-night stand with McKenzie, though she'd shied away from defining exactly how much more she really wanted. With sudden clarity, she understood how hard she'd been fighting that realization. Ever since she'd first met the girl, she'd been trying to pretend it was just a physical attraction, but everything she did around McKenzie told her how much of a lie that was.

She was constantly looking for excuses to be around McKenzie. She deliberately hung out in Karen's den at times she knew McKenzie would be coming home from class. She'd even rearranged her schedule more than once to be there when the girl got home after McKenzie had mentioned an upcoming test she was worried about.

"Oh fuck, I'm in deep," Ryan whispered as she scrubbed a hand through her tousled hair.

Ryan felt tendrils of fear and panic immediately creep up on her, encouraging her to shut down, to get away from the potential pain that loving McKenzie could bring. If she opened up to McKenzie, actually let her in, the girl could really hurt her.

Ryan's heart skipped a beat, only to begin thudding painfully in her chest as she acknowledged it was already too late for that. The girl was inside her defenses whether she wanted her there or not. She couldn't decide which was more terrifying. The fact that she couldn't stop what was happening between them... Or that she didn't want to.

"Goddamn it... Why does this have to be so fucking hard for me?" Ryan questioned angrily, but she knew the answer.

Her trust in the world had been obliterated even before she'd had the cognitive ability to understand the concept. But as she'd continued in the process of healing those old wounds, she'd vowed not to let them stop her from finding happiness.

"But what if I fuck this up? What if I hurt her?" Ryan asked herself.

Even the thought gave Ryan a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach and she shook her head again.

"Please, whoever's out there, if you have any strength to give me, I'll take it," Ryan offered up her version of a prayer.

Ryan let a sense of love and acceptance wash over her. She always got that feeling when she attempted to give up that part of herself that needed to control everything. It was how she'd been able to let go of some of the guilt she felt for all the things she'd done wrong in her short life. Forgiveness was never an easy thing, but it seemed even more difficult to offer to herself.

Ryan took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She wouldn't run from this.

"Whatever will be, will be," Ryan made her decision.

If she got hurt, then she got hurt, but she would do everything she could to protect McKenzie from getting hurt.

Ryan got up and washed her hands in the little bathroom that came with the room, then returned to bed. She rolled over onto her side and took a few deep breaths. She pulled the pillow to her again and imagined holding McKenzie, letting the images soothe her battered soul.

Maybe now she could finally get some sleep.