Missing Her

It's a typical Saturday night for us
Staying home and watching a movie
You're at one end of the couch
While I'm at the other
And there's a stack of two pillows
Between us where Felix is sleeping
At one intermission I lose my seat
I come back to find Felix lying in my spot
Instead of moving her I decide
To take a seat in the recliner which is
Just as comfy as the couch
And I can see the TV from here too
A while later I look over at you
The pillows are no longer
In the middle of the couch
They're under your head
As you lay stretched out on your side
With Felix cradled by an arm
Much the way Akasha
Used to lay next to you
Back then whichever one of them
Claimed you first
Got the prime spot
While the other was relegated
To a position at your feet
Just to be close to you
And as I watch the two of you
One hand continuously rubs her belly
Tears fill my eyes as I realize
How much I miss Kash
I miss seeing you with both of your girls
I reach for the tissue box, dry my eyes
Then turn my attention back to the TV
Deciding not to tell you
About what just happened
Because I know you feel her loss deeply
So I just let the moment pass
Knowing that we both still love
And miss Kash more than either of us
May ever choose to say

4.26.09