Channel Surfing

Last night, Kodi was in bed asleep
It was much too early for me to go to bed
And I was too brain dead to read
Or do anything on the computer
So, I just watched TV
But I couldn't find anything worth watching
Or that could hold my attention for very long
There was no CSI: Miami or House reruns on
So, I was just channel surfing
I had been at it for quite awhile
When I finally came across a show on VH-1
About the world's craziest contests
Intrigued, I decided to watch for a bit
Seems there was a radio station
Somewhere up north
I can't remember just where
The contest was to see how many bras
The contestants could unhook in a minute
The winner would get $200 bucks
There was a long line of young women
All with their backs to the camera
And they were holding up their shirts
To expose their bras and I noticed that
Most of them were wearing
The little two-hook bras
But a few had the more challenging four-hook kind
As the contest began they showed
A few guys hurriedly going down the line
Unhooking as many bras as they could
But in the end, it wasn’t a guy who won at all
The winner was a woman
She unhooked 37 bras in a minute
While the guys' scores were only in the twenties
VH-1 had these comedians doing side commentary
And this one guy said
"Well, of course a woman would be faster
She’s used to unhooking her own bra"
But I don't think that had anything to do with it
Taking off your own bra is totally different
From unhooking someone else’s
While standing behind them
I think she was a dyke
When she was interviewed, she said
"There was nothing to it,
All you need are these three fingers"
She held up her thumb, index, and middle fingers
She had this smug look on her face
Sure she'd just won $200 bucks
And beat out a bunch of guys at what
Some might consider their own game
But I still say she was probably gay
I mean she certainly looked the part
Plus, I don't think most straight women
Have a need for that particular skill set
With a smile on my face, I thought
"Well cool, good for her"
And I pressed the channel button again
Marveling at the wonders
Channel surfing can occasionally bring

4.17.09