I Still Haven't

My father takes my hand, squeezing it
And making direct eye contact with me
As he says, "goodbye"
Something he did not do
In person before he died

The very thought of saying goodbye
Brings me to tears
For comfort my mind
Supplies another image
Of other goodbyes not so painful
And not too long ago either

Whenever I'd leave my parents' house
After the hugs and the I love you's
I'd get into my car
And drive around the loop of their driveway
Stopping on the other side
And rolling down the window
To wave one last time
And say another goodbye
As I looked over to where my parents stood
Side by side on the porch
Waving and smiling back at me
The image makes me smile even now

Although that memory warms my heart
I'd rather not have to say goodbye at all

And I still haven't

3.3.08