Inheritance

As I eat my breakfast
My thoughts are of you
Because I'm eating grits that came
From a box Mom bought for you
She gave it to me last night
Because she knows that I like them
And she never has
It's one of a few southern delicacies
She hasn't learned to enjoy
But it's one you passed on nevertheless
Which got me to thinking
About what children inherit
From their parents when they die
And the different types of inheritance

Some inherit land as well as money
Some inherit houses full of furniture
Or workshops with power tools
But when you died
I didn't inherit things such as those
You left everything to Mom
When she dies your real property
Will be divided at that time
If there is anything left to divide
But Mom has given away
A few of your things to the boys
To me though she has given only
A few small items of yours
Mostly Mom has given me things
That once belonged to my grandmother
A stainless steel teapot and
Two small books of poetry
And some other odds and ends
But just because I haven't received
Any of your real property
Doesn't mean I haven't inherited
Anything from you

I got lots of things from you
Long before you ever died
I think inheritance starts with my conception
With the DNA I received from you
You gave me the color of my eyes
The color of my hair
My surname
My sense of humor
My taste for certain foods
Like grits & eggs
Kosher dill pickles
Corn beef and cabbage
Pork rinds and pinto beans
Pistachio and cashew nuts

I remember when I was little
Sometimes when we went
To Sears department store
You'd buy a bag of one of those kinds of nuts
And they would be warm and quite tasty
If you bought the pistachios
I'd have red dye on my fingers for days
I'd eat just about anything that you would
Except for asparagus and sardines
But your youngest child loves both of those
So you still managed to pass it on

There are many other things
Besides my love of certain foods
That I attribute to you as well
You've influenced many of
The passions of my life

My love of travel
The desire to see the world
You took us all across the US and Canada
On our summer vacations

My love of nature
The beauty of the wild
And scenic places
Because of those summer vacations
I've seen a lot of the National Parks

My love of photography
On those vacations you always had
A camera in your hands

My love of women
I know you loved my mother deeply
As I have the women in my life

Although I may have inherited
Many of these traits from you
I was the one who cultivated them
And sought out support and encouragement
From others instead of you
For fear of your rejection
And disapproval of my choices
Because of your religious beliefs

Beliefs that you also tried to pass on to me
But that's one area where I've drawn a line
Refusing to follow where you led
I have to find my own path
My own spirituality
Just as you did when you stopped following
The religion in which you had been raised
I wonder how your parents took that news
Did they try to change your mind
Or did they honor your decision
And your right to choose your own beliefs

Your religion may have been right for you
In the end though I wonder if it still was
I may never know the answer to that
But I can tell you what I do know
And that is that your beliefs
Are most definitely not right for me

So, I'll gladly keep your name as my own
And the many other similarities that we share
But no matter how much I may be your daughter
I am still my own person
I have to be who I am
Only I am responsible for myself
Only I can save my soul

9.22.07