Missing You

I'm driving down the highway
Kodi's in the passenger seat
Amanda's in the back
No one is talking
Because we're all singing along
To an Alana Davis song, 32 Flavors
My mind flashes on a memory
Of a night when it was
The four of us in my car
And we were all singing
Closer to Fine by the Indigo Girls
I smile to myself briefly at the thought

It was the year before our handfasting
After dinner you asked if the three of us
Wanted to go out for a drive
It would be a girls' night out
You left the kids home with the husband
So it was just you, your housemate Amanda
And Kodi and me
I offered our car if you'd drive and you agreed
Which was really nice because
It allowed Kodi and me to sit together
In the backseat which was a first for us
I felt like I was back in high school again
Only how it should have been
Me feeling relaxed and comfortable in my skin
Hanging out with my girlfriend's sister and her friend
While making out in the backseat
And them being okay with us being gay

We were on the hunt for three covered bridges
At least one of which was supposed to be haunted
I think we found two out of the three that night
The first one was only open to foot traffic
While the second one could be driven across
I remember the road went downhill
But leveled out in front of the bridge
You stopped the car at the entrance
Leaving the headlights on to illuminate
The insides of the bridge
We all got out and walked around for a bit
Then all of a sudden there were car lights
Coming down the hill towards us
From the other side of the bridge
We had to get off the bridge
And move my car before the other one got there
You jumped in the driver's seat
While Kodi and I got into the back
You moved the car over to the side of the road
And let the other car pass by
Then the three of us totally freaked out
As we realized Amanda was missing
"Where the fuck is she?"
"She can't have just disappeared"
"Maybe the ghosts got her"
Of course, we knew there had to be a logical explanation
But it was still fun to play "Let's Pretend"
And enjoy a little of the lost innocence
That makes going to a haunted house
So much fun as a kid
We all got back out of the car to look for her
And found her almost immediately
We all instantly dissolved into a fit of the giggles
She was fine, she'd just walked up the embankment
To get safely out of the way

My throat tightens
Tears fill my eyes
And roll down my cheeks
I love that memory
Four women out in the night
Driving around Vermont
Acting like a bunch of teenage girls
Checking out a haunted covered bridge

But as much as I love that memory
It also hurts just as deeply
My heart aches
From missing you

October can't come soon enough

8.18.07