Daddy’s Helper

Sitting at a red light
Of the intersection
That's just up the street
From my house
I look over to the left
At the shop on the corner
Where a man is up on a ladder
Changing out the light bulbs
Of the sign above the door
Beside the ladder stands a young girl
About thirteen or fourteen I'd say
She's holding a light bulb
I continue to watch them
He hands her the old light
While she hands off the new one
A slight smile creases my face
As I think "Daddy's helper"

And that's all it takes
To make me think of you
My light turns green
And I head towards the house
Thinking of all the times
I was daddy's helper
Handing you things like tools
Or screwdrivers
Or helping you work on our house
When the boys were
Nowhere to be found
I even helped you pull sheets
Of plywood up onto the roof
When you'd added on the new living room
Even though it was hard work
I enjoyed just being with you
To me it was better than being stuck inside
Doing housework any day

As I pull into my driveway
And turn off the engine I wonder
Just how you never knew about me
Knew that I was gay
When it seems like it was so obvious
Or wasn't being daddy's helper
A big enough clue

7.19.07