After all these years

Sometimes I simply can't believe
That you're back in my life
After we've been apart
For so very many years
At the very least it's been 28
Over half of my life was spent
Without you in it
I've thought of you so many times
These past five years
I've hoped that it wasn't too late
To try and find you
But in the end you're the one who found me
Although I did put
Myself out there to be found
I'm glad I replied to the call for
Graduates of Eastern Guilford High School
And sent in my e-mail and home addresses
At the time I wasn't sure if I really planned to
Attend the reunion or not
But it was fun to think about
Showing up and shocking everyone
With my twenty-nine year old wife
It might not have been such a shock after all
But then again maybe it would be
For everyone to find out that I am gay
Or that I'm married to a woman
Seventeen years my junior

Then on Monday, August 22nd
I got an email from you at work
In that moment my long wait
Of worrying and wondering
About you was over
You were still alive
And living locally
We chatted through email for a month
I enjoyed getting to know you again
Then came the day
I was desperate to hear your voice
And went hunting for your phone number
We finally talked that night
Hearing your voice seemed
To make the connection feel real
We tried to recall why and how
We lost touch with each other
But neither of us knew the reason
The only thing I can figure is that
My family moved the year after graduation
And a little thing, like your phone number
Must have gotten lost in the move
Plus, I was busy with my own life
With college and a boyfriend
I never meant to forget about you
The memories I have of the times
We spent together are as clear
As the day they happened
I could never forget about you entirely

And now another month later
We're finally going to meet for dinner
I'm so excited I can hardly wait
I know the joy I felt at hearing your voice
For the first time cannot compare
To what it's going to feel like seeing you
For the first time in 28 years
Then you'll be completely real
Not a dream or a figment of my imagination

There is something I wanted to say to you
And that is, after all this time
My feelings for you are as strong
As they were when we were in high school
The only difference is that now
I feel as though I can't tell you enough
That…

I love you
You were a really good friend to me
I've missed you so very much
How happy I am to finally have you back in my life

No, my feelings for you may not have changed
After all these years
But it's so obvious that I certainly have
When you're eighteen
You don't tell your best friend that you love them
Or at least I couldn't
For that I am truly sorry
For not telling you that I loved you
For not telling you how much
Your friendship meant to me

And now after all these years
To have the love and acceptance of a dear friend
Means more to me than you may ever know

Betsy, I welcome you with open arms
After all these years

11.3.05