Embracing The Past

My attention was completely captured
As I watched the scene change
Oh cool, it's a women's bar

She is a straight woman
It's her first time at a gay bar
From the security of the balcony
She takes a look around
The place is packed
Women everywhere
From the sea of bodies
On the dance floor
To the couples making out
Along the walls
She stands leaning against the railing
Her eyes slide shut
The tempo of the music changes
From a hard fast dance mix
To a slower more seductive rhythm
Gracefully she heads for the dance floor
Checking out the ladies
As they're checking out her in return
Open hungry stares are the price
Of admission onto the floor
Which she willingly allows
And is granted access
Gradually she makes her way
To the middle of the dance floor
Where she becomes
The center of attention
Then the floor thins out
Except for her and a few others
They dance with and for each other
As well as for everyone else
They strut and move suggestively
To the beat of the music
As quickly as they left
The crowd returns
And her moment in the spotlight is over
Or is it
A tentative hand reaches out
Touching her bare shoulder
She slowly turns around
And looks into the eyes
Of her much younger self
Struck with compassion
For the sadness she sees in those eyes
She raises a tender hand
And cradles the teenager's cheek
Who leans into her touch
Without a word they fall
Into the other's embrace
And slowly swaying to the music
The scene ends with them still
In each other's arms

I am profoundly affected by the
Intensity of the moment
And watch the scene
Over and over again
Finally stopping the movie
I can't help but wonder
What it would be like if I
At age 45 met myself as a teenager
Would she even recognize me
What would she think
Of the choices I've made
Would she be proud or disappointed
At how her life has turned out
Would I want to say something
To the sadness in her eyes
Or would I opt not to speak at all
Simply putting my arms around her
To hold her close

11.24.04