Lie of Omission

I'm sorry
I didn't mean to lie to you
But still, I did
Old habits die hard, I guess
And although most of the time
I try hard to be honest
Sometimes, it's just easier to lie
Than to tell the truth especially
When it comes to protecting
Someone else's feelings
Or more honestly
Protecting myself from someone's
Reaction to the truth

So, what did I lie to you about
Remember when you asked
Why I didn't bring pictures
Of the wedding to show you
My reply was because I hadn't
Put them in an album yet
Which was the truth
I could have brought the photos
Anyway, like you suggested
But I didn't
What I didn't tell you was why I didn't
And that's my lie of omission

The reason I didn't bring them
Well, there are a couple of reasons
First off, because I didn't think
You were interested in seeing pictures
Because of something you said
The year before, when I sent you
The link to our handfasting site
You said you couldn't look at it
Because you didn't know
If you'd ever stop seeing our current
Pictures as anything but some out of focus
Event that was captured while drunk

I know you have the right to your feelings
And I respect that, honestly I do
But I also have a right to mine
And I've only recently been able
To admit to myself just how
Deeply your comment hurt me
I know what you said
That it wasn't about Kodi or me
It was about you
But I also know how it felt
It felt like you didn't want to know
Or be a part of this wedding at all

So, if you didn't even want to
See pictures of the planning stages
Why would I think you'd
Want to see pictures of the
Actual event itself
When you asked to get
Together for lunch
You just asked me to tell
You all about it
You didn't ask to see pictures
How was I supposed to know
That your feelings had changed

I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings
By not bringing the pictures
That was not my intent
Nor is it my intent to hurt you now
By telling you any of this
I simply felt the need to stop hiding
And to tell you the truth
About hurting my feelings

I know you've told me that
At age 61 you feel you have
Earned the right to live
And say anything you please
But that doesn't give you the right
To walk all over people
And you don't have the right
To hurt my feelings the way you have
But how else are you supposed
To know that you've hurt me
If I just keep it to myself
Like I've always done
You won't
Unless I stand up for myself

And I know that we have both changed
A lot over the past four years
Our lives have gone in two
Totally different directions
I also know that our friendship
Isn't what it used to be
But that doesn't mean
That I want to lose it
Nor does it mean
That I don't still love
And respect you
Because I do
I just don't feel that
You've shown me
The same respect

11.21.04