Author's Notes

First off, I need to say something to Kodi...

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the gift of last night. I love you so very, very much.

Okay, now back to the rest of you... :)

For months, Kodi and I have been working on our wedding letters to each other. Kodi has had hers finished for a while now. I finally finished mine on Tuesday of this week. Since then, we've been talking about them and whether or not we could actually hold out and not share them with each other until our wedding day.

At the same time, though, we have also been trying to write our vows and not having much luck at it either. We came up with a couple different ideas, but in the end, we decided against using them for one reason or another. The words we say to each other need to feel right to us. They need to be our words. So, we've been struggling to find the right ones. Last night, we wondered if reading our letters to each other might be just the help we needed.

So, after discussing the pros and cons for a while, we finally decided to just do it at two o'clock in the morning. We took a shower together, and then we each printed out our letters. Kodi had already decided what clothes she wanted to wear, which included some of her wedding outfit. But since I'm still waiting on the last two pieces of my outfit to arrive, Kodi suggested that I wear one of our wedding presents we'd gotten for each other. (And no, we can't keep any secrets from each other. :)) It's a short white satin kimono robe; Kodi's is black.

Anyway, since it would take Kodi longer to dress than it would me, she asked me to get the bedroom ready. I changed the sheets on the bed and arranged the candles on top of the entertainment unit because that was the only source of light we were going to use.

When she was ready, Kodi walked into the bedroom. She was wearing her doublet, a poet's shirt, which isn't her wedding shirt, her breeches, her brown leather boots, not the black ones she'll be wearing for the wedding, and last but not least, her sword, a damn fine sight to see, if I do say so myself.

Then, together, we lit all the candles, turned off the overhead light, and were ready to begin. Kodi asked me to go first, so I did. Nervously, I read my letter to her. I had gotten close to the end of it when a line caught me so off guard that I started to cry. Kodi rubbed my arm reassuringly and told me it was okay. I tried to pull myself together long enough to finish it, which I barely managed to do. The line that caught me wasn't even the one I'd imagined would make me cry. We took a minute to let me catch my breath, which I'm so glad we did, because once Kodi started reading her letter, her words touched my heart so deeply that I cried all the way through it.

I really love this woman, and she really loves me. You know, just when I think I couldn't possibly love Kodi any more than I already do, she goes and does something like this that deepens it even more than I could have ever imagined.

We decided that we are still going to read our letters at the wedding. We still want everyone else to know why we love each other so much, and the letters will do just that. But Kodi will remove the proposal from her letter, since she fulfilled that wish last night. That was only for me, although she said she had been fully prepared to do it as part of the ceremony in front of our entire family. She amazes me, totally amazes me.

In the end, though, I am glad we didn't wait for the ceremony to read our letters. It gave us a practice run at it and a memory for us to recall when we read them on the day, so we can picture it just being the two of us and let the rest of the world just fall away. I think it did help us as well, since we did come up with some ideas for our vows.

After such an emotionally charged evening it took a while for us to come down. So, when we finally did get to bed, we were very happy. Happy in the knowledge of just how much we both love each other.

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