So Very Sorry

I'm sorry...

for my part in our breakup
for how it happened
for the pain I caused
for the words that cut
for the lies I told
for hurting you
for hurting myself
for pushing you away
for the broken promises
for how I disappointed you
for all that I put you through

I'm sorry I wasn't there for you
That I couldn't talk to you
That I wouldn't talk to you
I'm sure that hurt more
Than if I'd just told you the truth
I'm sorry it's taken me this long to say it
To say I'm sorry

But I'm not sorry...

for ever meeting you
for becoming friends
for falling in love with you
for you being my first girl
for moving in with you
for marrying you
for the love you gave me
for the fun and laughter I had
for all the time I spent with you
for the comfort you offered
for the security I felt
for all the vacations we took
for the camping trips
for the gift of poetry you gave me
for all the music, especially Heart

I will never be sorry for loving you

5.24.03

CMT

Author's Notes

The divorce ritual and ceremony didn't quite go as I had planned, which is okay. I think my original idea was just too unrealistic and just perpetuated the codependent relationship that I had with Wolfmoon.

So, together, it was decided that we would just have separate parting rituals, instead of have a joint one in which our significant others would be present. We also decided to write our own divorce decree, to be signed in mid June.

Last month, Wolfmoon asked if the two of us could go out to dinner alone. She had written something that she wanted me to read. We haven't gotten together just yet, but we are planning to soon. Now, I won't have to show up empty-handed; she'll have something to read as well.

This poem is what I wanted to say to Wolfmoon in the ritual, if we'd actually had one. It was written on Memorial Day weekend, which I thought was very appropriate.