Author's Notes

How can life get so complicated? I have no idea, but it can and very often does. Recent events have caused some issues to arise for me, and I'm left struggling to understand my conflicting emotions.

Back in January, when I first asked Wolfmoon about having a divorce or parting ceremony, she had agreed to it and thought it would be a good idea. Originally, my idea was to have both our significant others there, along with Wolfmoon's sister, to witness the releasing of the past and the acceptance of the future. At the end of the ritual, I wanted Wolfmoon and myself to drink several toasts; one "to the past" (to us as a couple), then "to the present" (to us as friends), and then finally we'd turn to our new lovers and drink a toast "to the future" (to them).

Later on that same week, Wolfmoon's girlfriend, Wind Dancer, found out about the ceremony and got very angry. She told Wolfmoon that she could do whatever she wanted, but there was no way she was going to attend. And I no longer wanted her there either, simply because of her attitude towards me. She has this really nasty negative attitude, and as far as I am concerned, I think she wishes that I would go away and never see or speak to Wolfmoon ever again. She works at the local courthouse, where I occasionally have to go to get documents recorded for work. So I see her now and then, and I saw her a day or so after she found out about the divorce ceremony. I nodded my head at her, and in return, she just walked on by and gave me this 'go to hell' look. It was then that I knew for sure I didn't want her at the ceremony.

So, for two months, both Wolfmoon and I believed that Wind Dancer was not going to come to the ceremony. Then one day, she tells Wolfmoon that she's changed her mind and has decided to come. When I got this news it just about sent me over the edge because I still didn't want her there with her negative attitude sucking all the good intentions out of the ceremony.

For a few days, I was stuck between how I saw the ceremony proceeding and what I felt would actually happen if Wind Dancer attended. I was really stressing about it. Kodi tried to help by asking me to see Wind Dancer differently; not as an adult hell bent on hurting anything and everything around her, but as a hurt little child.

So, as I waited, while Kodi had a therapy session, I sort of had one of my own. That's when I wrote this poem. It's basically a conversation my adult self had with my whining defiant little five-year-old self.

I've discovered that it is very easy to love those who love you, but so much harder to love and show compassion to those who hate you.

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