Tell The Truth

Updating my website
That's all I was doing
Or so I thought
But I reread everything
From poems
To the author's notes
Which sets my brain
Into motion
Thinking about myself
And the past
From the perspective
Of who I am now
Which I'm surprised
Has changed from
That of only a year ago
When I first wrote
All the author's notes
Now when I read
I say to myself
“Oh, come on, get real…
Be honest with yourself…
That's not what was
Happening at all…
You're lying to yourself
And to no one else”
Now I see
Denial no longer
Clouds my vision
Now that I know
I won't leave them that way
So, I go back
Edit the notes
Tell the truth

4.4.02

CMT

Author's Notes

This poem actually generated the next poem called "Through Different Eyes," and after writing that one, I'd intended to use this poem as the basis for my Author's Notes for that one. However, Kodi said she thought this should be its own poem, so here it is.

Like the poem describes, I was updating my website and reading all the poems and Auther's Notes when I came across one ("Shelter") that I realized was all about me being in denial. Just reading the poems that came before and after made it so obvious. But even just a year ago, I wasn't ready to let go of the false image I had of myself at the time. I've since rewritten the Author's Notes to describe what was really going on.