Should Anything Happen
I hear your words
you give me information
to face the possibility
in an instant
I feel the fear and panic
in the meaning of those words
you continue to speak
but I cannot hear you
I refuse to listen
I feel my heart break
the child within me
screams NO
I don't want to hear this
I don't want to even
think about it, I can't
my fears are those
of a young child
not wanting to lose you
fear of abandonment
that you'll never
return home to me
but I am not a child
and I am not alone in this world
for I have one who loves me very much
I try to calm myself
with the knowledge that I'm not the one
who'll handle your affairs
should anything happen
8.8.01
Author's Notes
My parents were getting ready to make another trip back up to Canada. I was on the phone with my mother, when she started off a sentence with the phrase "should anything happen." Then she proceeded to tell of life insurance policies and the like. I know she just wanted me to be prepared should something happen, but I didn't even want to think of it as a possibility. Not now, so soon after losing both of my grandparents already this year.
I'm usually not this emotional when my parents leave on a trip. My mother has talked about this subject before many times. Usually, I just listen to her, thankful that my older brother has the responsibility of looking after their estates.
But for some reason, when I heard her speak those words, I revisited a night from my childhood in which my parents were very late coming home. I felt the fear and panic of that night I spent worrying and waiting, wondering if they were ever coming home, or if they'd been killed in an accident. They did come home, and they always have since then. But one never knows, anything can happen.
