Warning: This poem contains a graphic description of the murder of a kitten; however, that is only one small part of the poem.
Simon, my Simon
Oh how I miss you
You left your mark
Indelible on me
On my body
On my heart
My silly boy
I never knew
What you'd do next
You warmed my heart
You made me laugh
When I needed it the most
We may not have had
Much time together
But I'll always cherish
Every moment with you
You'd come when I called
When I sat down to eat
Scratching and clawing my legs
Just to get to my plate
Dragging around your beaney baby
Chasing ping-pong balls
All over the kitchen
I still haven't found all of them yet
Climbing up in my arms
Whenever I'd be in the rocker
And I'd rock you to sleep
Standing on my drum
Chasing the stick
Sleeping on my stomach
When I'd talk on the phone
Sleeping on my side
While I slept at night
Pouncing on me
In the middle of the night
Biting my fingers
Biting your own tail
When I waved it in your face
Purring at the slightest touch
Sitting on my shoulder
Like a vulture
And I'd glance up at you
All I could see was a silhouette
Of your head and those big bat ears
Tapping my mouth ever so gently
As I start to drift off to sleep
Purring and sniffing my ear
And eyelashes
Climbing up the dirty clothes pile
You'd always have to beat me into any room
Carrying around milk cap rings
In your mouth
Batting the bolt covers off the toilet
Around the bathroom
They're still where you left them
Having to be picked up and held on my lap
While I used the restroom
Sitting on the edge of the tub
With your black tail hanging down
When I'd take a shower
Climbing up your perch
Like a jackrabbit
I'd lie on the couch
With you on my stomach
Sometimes you'd slide off
Getting wedged between
The cushion and my side
And you'd make no effort to move
Playing with my shoe strings
Trying to drag my shoes off
Jumping all over the sheets
When I tried to make up the bed
Then attacking me as I rounded the corner
I loved you from the first moment I saw you
But didn't realize just how much I did
Until you were gone
I will never understand why it happened
I wasn't home that Saturday afternoon
When they cut the screen of my front window
And tied one end of a plastic
Jump rope around your throat
The other end was tied to a brick
Then threw you back inside the house
You had wrapped the jump rope around
The leg of a stool several times
Until finally hanging yourself
You strangled to death
Alone
Coming home to find you like that
Broke my heart in two
I still can't imagine why someone
Would do that to you
You were the sweetest little thing
And now I have Megan
She isn't a replacement for you
No one could ever take your place in my heart
She is just an extension
Of the love I had for you
11.3.1998
One night, I received a knock on my front door. I opened the door to find a little boy holding a black and white kitten. He asked if it belonged to me. I told him no. Then he asked if I'd like to have it. He said it was a stray and that he found it playing with a snake. I looked a little closer at the kitten and thought I saw blood on his side. I asked if I could hold him, and the child handed him to me. I rubbed at its fur and found that it wasn't blood at all, but red mud. Relieved, I decided to keep the kitten. It had only been a month since Wolfmoon and I had separated, and I was finding being alone very difficult. We'd had two cats, but they adored her and were much happier to be with her, so I eventually let her take them.
Even though we were no longer living together, we still saw a lot of each other, which hurt, but anyway, about six weeks after taking in Simon, I went with Wolfmoon to take my mother out shopping. When I came home, I found Simon the way I described in the poem. Thankfully, Wolfmoon was with me, so I didn't walk into that alone. I was pretty shaken up, so Wolfmoon called the police for me. They took my statement, but nothing ever came of it.
Earlier that day at the shopping center, I had seen a little gray kitten at a pet store, and I decided that night to go back for her. I just couldn't face dealing with the loss of Simon, especially so soon after having just ended my twenty-year relationship with Wolfmoon. So, the next afternoon, I went back to the pet store with Wolfmoon and bought Megan (for more about Megan, read "It's the Light," "For Megan," "The Aftermath," and "Memories of You").
A few weeks later, I arrived early for a night class I was taking on photography and had some time to kill. I was missing Simon terribly, so I opened my notebook and tried to recall everything I loved about him. I wrote this poem in a matter of minutes.
I only took a couple shots of Simon. This is my favorite one of the two.
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