But I Do

I came in a fury for her and for you
my mind went back to that morning
that I had both of you in my arms
and how completely satisfied I felt

but now I feel the white hot burning tears
ebbing at the brink of spilling over
I clench my eyes tightly, refusing to let them flow
but some leak out, spilling onto my face

how dare you do this to me
allow me to have something I wanted for so long
you made a fantasy come true
but it was more than that, much more

it confirmed the desire that having
two women wasn't just a fantasy, it felt more like a need
I have felt that there was something,
no, someone was missing, now I know

I felt complete, I finally found what was missing
I have thought, I have two arms
two breasts, one for each of you
now I'm left with wanting more, and no hope of getting it

it's hard to be near you and not want you
to hold you, to feel you in my arms, to smell you
part of me hopes you'll change your mind
but I won't hold my breath waiting for it to happen

from the first moment there was hope that it could be the three of us
I thought it would be so cool, it would be something I've wanted
three women loving each other, and being happy
to be with either or both, it really wouldn't matter

but now that it's not the case, you only want her
I'm not really sure how to feel, or sure of what I feel
I do wish that I didn't want you like I do
since there is no hope of ever having you again, what's the point

why do we want what we know we can't have
would someone please tell me why
if you don't want me, then I don't want to want you
but I do, I really wish I didn't, but I do

9.3.97