The Dam

Ironic this choice of a dam
In my search to photograph my emotions
I found an image of myself
Staring back at me

For I am a dam
Through the years I built my stone wall
Built it high, built it strong
To keep intruders out, to protect myself

I never realized
By keeping things out
I was also keeping things in
I had dammed up my emotions

Where they stay
Until pressure causes them to rise
When they rise high enough
Sheer force leads them to spill over the dam

I can feel it when they start to rise
I make a futile attempt to hold them back
But I have no control, anymore than the dam
Can stop the rising water from spilling over its stone wall

How much easier would it be
If I were a river flowing free
Never having to be on guard
Or trying to hold anything back

3.4.97

CMT

Author's Notes

My therapist gave me an assignment: I had two weeks to photograph five emotions. I went to a place that I loved, which I hadn't been to in a long time. As I walked around taking pictures of the dam, I felt several different emotions. Little did I realize at the time that those emotions would cause me to write, but they did. During the next week at work, the words just started to flow. I wrote three poems from that trip to the dam, this one, Sad, and Contrast. This poem is one of my favorites. And my therapist was very pleased as well.