Lust
I knew I cared for you
Trusted and respected you
But I had not felt
An attraction for you
Until you kissed my neck
And I have this feeling
That you are attracted to me
Which is a surprise because
I didn't think I was your type
Now I find myself wondering
If I asked you would you
Tell me if it's true
Would you tell me
Why and when it happened
Would you tell me
What I should do
I never expected to feel
These feelings for you
Here I am before you
Willing to throw away
Everything I have
Much too eagerly
But that last part
Is not exactly true
I am not willing to
Throw away my marriage
I am not willing to
Throw away this relationship
That we share either
I know that I can say that
And my head knows it to be true
But it also knows that
Lust is a very
Very powerful thing
5.7.95
Author's Notes
My partner, Kodi, thinks this is a really cool poem, but I'm not very proud of the events behind it.
I had been married to Wolfmoon for almost 3 years at the time. Her mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer the year before we got married and as her mother's health declined, Wolfmoon became more and more emotionally distant.
The situation was very emotionally draining for both of us and instead of turning to each other, we tried to handle things individually. I started going to a friend for massage therapy and began to have regular sessions with her.
Then one night, during a session, she took her shirt off and pressed her naked tits into my back. The poem was my way of confronting her about it because the situation at the time it happened didn't allow me to. Her response, telling me that she was attracted to me, but that she didn't want to break up my marriage, sent me into a two-year-long obsession with her.
Most of the poems from this point on until the end of October of 1996 are about her.
