Chapter 16
Loss

A month went by and Gabrielle kept her promise about staying in touch with her people. Twice a week, a messenger came to drop off reports to Gabrielle and returned to New Gaia the following morning with a progress report from her.

When Cameron arrived, he found Gabrielle teaching Tala to read in the huge longhouse Tala's tribe had begun using when the weather turned colder. He really didn't want to deliver this particular message, but he had to. Gabrielle looked up at him and smiled. She gestured for him to come further into the large room.

"Hey, Cam. Come, have a seat," she told him.

"Hi, Chief," he said as he sat at the table.

One of the skills Gabrielle had passed on, from the Technology Department's archives, was the making of candles, and Gabrielle and Tala were reading by the light of several fat candles sitting in the middle of the table. Cameron passed over the reports he'd been sent with and then cleared his throat.

"Um, Chief? I have some bad news." Cameron suddenly had Gabrielle's undivided attention and he swallowed hard past the lump in his throat. He'd promised himself he wasn't going to cry anymore.

Gabrielle watched him. He was trying to work his throat, but no sound was coming out. She reached out and laid her right hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently to show that, whatever it was, she was there for him.

"There.. There was an accident. Jose and Tom were directing Shaun and David and some of the others to lower one of the roof logs for the paper mill into place. The ropes caught and... and they slipped and the log fell, but Billy was underneath and... and... It hit him in the chest, just landed right on top of him. There was nothing anybody could do. It just crushed his chest right in..." The tears were flowing freely down the young man's cheeks as he recounted the story.

As Gabrielle listened to Cam tell his tale, everything blurred. Her own tears welled up and spilled out of her eyes.

"Billy's dead," Cam hiccuped slightly and then stopped trying to fight against the tears that were overwhelming him.

Gabrielle felt strong arms wrap around her shoulders and she gave in to the comfort they offered. Billy had been so young. There'd been so much life in him, so much more for him to experience still. Gabrielle cried hard into the shoulder under her cheek. She reached out an arm and blearily made out Cam's sobbing form through her tears. She pulled him into a tight hug, never releasing the embrace she was already in.

The three of them stood like that for a long time; Tala unwilling to let Gabrielle mourn alone, Gabrielle feeling a need to comfort Cam, and Cam finally letting his grief show at having lost one of his best friends. Finally, Cameron eased himself out of his Chief's arms.

"They, um, they told me to ask you to come back for the funeral," Cam said in a subdued voice.

"Yes, of course. We'll leave before dawn tomorrow. Oh Goddess. Kelly. How's she taking it?" Gabrielle suddenly thought of Billy's older sister.

"She's, um, she's, she's not taking it real well. When I left, she still wouldn't come out of her house. I think she thinks something could've been done to prevent it. You know, like maybe Tom or Jose should've checked the ropes better or something. But it was just a fluke thing. The ropes got caught on the edge of one of the logs that was already up there and the weight was just too much. If it'd happened a few seconds later, it would've just landed where it was supposed to. But it didn't," Cam said sadly.

"I'll talk to her. Or maybe someone else already has. Go get some dinner, Cam. Then get some rest. We'll be leaving early."

Cameron nodded and left to get his supper. Gabrielle turned to Tala and Tala brushed at the tears still marring the young woman's features. Gabrielle smiled wanly and sat down at the table again. Tala sat next to her, but kept up the body contact. Whatever strength she had was Gabrielle's for the taking.

"I have to return to New Gaia," Gabrielle started.

"I'll go with you," Tala said before Gabrielle could get any further.

"You don't have to do that," Gabrielle protested.

"Yes, I do. You are Iroka, now. So your tribe is my tribe," Tala stated.

Gabrielle took that information in slowly. She wasn't sure exactly what Tala meant by that, but decided to take Tala up on her offer anyway. "Thank you. I would really like for you to come back with me," she said.

**********************

Tristan greeted the trio as soon as they entered New Gaia's theoretical borders. Gabrielle noticed the circles under his eyes, but decided not to say anything for the moment. Gabrielle sent Cam home and then followed Tristan to the Main Hall. Tala stayed at her side the whole time.

"How's Kelly? Cam told me she wouldn't talk to anybody," Gabrielle said, as they all seated themselves around the Council table in the main room.

"She's better, but not by much. At least, she's eating now. Claudia got her to drink some of Luis' special 'comfort broth.' Stephanie's with her now," Tristan relayed.

"So, what happened? Cam said the rope got cut on one of the logs and fell?" Gabrielle questioned.

"Yeah. Tom was directing the pulleys, making sure the logs weren't being lifted too fast. Jose was up top, directing the positioning of each log as it was brought up. Apparently, the last log they'd positioned had a bit of a broken branch that was still attached to it. The edges were sharp. When the next log was brought up, it brushed against it. The ropes caught and frayed and, a second later, the whole thing came crashing down. Billy just happened to be underneath when it happened," Tristan explained.

"What the hell was he doing there anyway?" Gabrielle asked.

"He was clearing away debris. They were almost finished, Gabrielle, and everyone just wanted to go home as soon as possible, so Billy was getting a head start on the clean up. He just didn't want to be standing around doing nothing. I've talked with everyone who was there. No one is to blame," he said tiredly.

"Oh, Tris, I'm not looking for anyone to blame. I just want to know that we can keep this from happening again," she soothed.

"Well, I don't think anyone can make that kind of guarantee. Accidents happen and this was an accident. Everyone's going to be on alert now, of course, but there's no way to prevent something like this from happening again."

"I know. You're right," Gabrielle sighed. "Does anyone know what Billy wanted for a funeral or anything like that?"

"Actually, yeah. Jonathan told me Billy talked about wanting to be buried directly in the ground and then have a tree planted over him, so his death could be something else's life. He said he got that from listening to you pray over one of your kills. You never told me you did that," Tristan said.

Gabrielle looked down at the table. "Yeah. I pray to thank their spirits for letting me kill them. I didn't know he'd heard me," she said quietly.

"Well, he did and it made quite an impact on him."

"I'm glad." Gabrielle felt a few tears tumble from her eyes.

"A hole was dug yesterday and his body's already been covered over. We'll have to wait on the tree. If we tried to plant one now, the poor thing would die," Tristan said.

"Right." Gabrielle wiped at the tears. "We'll hold the farewell ceremony in the morning after breakfast," Gabrielle decided.

"I'll go let everyone know," Tristan said, and slowly walked out of the room.

Gabrielle sat and stared at the top of the table for several minutes. She didn't remember Tala was still there until she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at the woman and found only compassion in her eyes.

"What will the farewell ceremony be?" Tala asked.

"Um, well, everyone will come to say goodbye to Billy, the man who died. When one of our people dies, we usually bury them in the ground or burn them until there are only ashes left. Billy asked to be buried in the ground. That's already happened. He also asked that a tree be planted over his grave, that's the spot where he was buried, but we can't do that with Winter almost here. It's too cold and the tree would never survive being moved. So we're just going to gather and mourn tomorrow. Then, in the Spring, we'll plant the tree for him. Tomorrow, anyone who wants to say something about Billy may do so. It'll be a time to remember him and celebrate his life," Gabrielle finished.

"I would like to be there," Tala said.

"Alright," Gabrielle smiled.

**********************

The morning was cold, just like all the mornings of the previous few weeks. Gabrielle stood at the head of the group, Tala right next to her. Kelly was up in front too, Stephanie's arm wrapped around her shoulders to offer what comfort she could. The night before, a foot of dirt had been purposely withheld from the hole, where Billy's body had been laid to rest, and two men were ceremoniously shoveling it slowly onto the grave.

Tala stepped forward and removed her bone knife from its place at her belt. She laid it on top of the sunken area and said several words in her language. Kelly looked to Gabrielle for a translation.

"Tala says, 'Good journey,'" she told the young woman.

Kelly nodded. "Tell her thank you," she said.

Tala stood back up and returned to Gabrielle's side. "You're welcome," Tala replied to Kelly. Kelly was too exhausted to be startled at Tala's comprehension of English. She simply nodded.

Cameron stepped forward when the burial ceremony was completed. He said a few quiet words that no one else could hear and then turned and hugged Kelly. His eyes were wet and he quickly walked to the back of the group.

Eventually, everyone had said their good-byes, either by quietly speaking to Billy's grave or sharing one of their memories of Billy with those present. Gabrielle went last and stood behind the grave, so that she could direct her words to the whole group, while still facing Billy's resting place.

"Billy. You will always be remembered, for you were the first person to give your life for our shared vision of a new world without hate and ignorance. I will miss you. You were a good Warrior and a true friend. I intend to declare this day an annual holiday, to remember what we have all sacrificed in order to build a world that will hopefully bypass the mistakes that were made the first time around. Rest well," she finished quietly.

Gabrielle bent down and touched the ground with the palm of her hand. A single tear caressed her left cheek and then she stood and walked away. Tala followed her.

Everyone in town took a break from their normal duties to mourn the passing of one of their own. Gabrielle went straight to her cabin and Tala stayed one step behind her. They sat on the bed in silence for close to an hour before Gabrielle started crying.

Tala pulled the small blonde into her arms and held her tightly, as she sobbed uncontrollably. Gabrielle hadn't thought there was that much water in her body as the tears kept coming. After a while, she calmed down enough to ask Tala a question.

"What do your people do for the dead, Tala?" she inquired softly.

"When one of my people dies, they are buried in the ground like your people. We give them food and weapons to take with them. Or if it is a child, we give them toys, so that they can play with them and be happy in their next life," Tala said.

Gabrielle nodded and snuggled deeper into Tala's embrace. "Thank you," Gabrielle said and quietly fell into an exhausted sleep.

"You're welcome, Gabrielle," Tala whispered.

She held Gabrielle for a long time, listening to Gabrielle's deep breathing as she slept. She stroked Gabrielle's bangs out of her face and then continued running her fingers through the short locks because it felt soothing to do so. She wanted so much to protect the small woman from the pain she was feeling, but knew that this sharing of her strength was the best she could do.

"Mine," she whispered hoarsely, and pulled Gabrielle closer to her.