Chapter 9

Kaylee looked at the stove and then at Jason. Jason smiled at her and then walked over to the kitchen cabinets. He opened one and pulled down several packages of Spanish rice and set them on the counter. Then he opened the refrigerator and pulled out a head of lettuce, three tomatoes, and a block of cheddar cheese. He placed them all on the counter, next to the cutting board, and withdrew a knife from the nearby wooden block.

"We'll make burritos. They're pretty easy," Jason said.

He grabbed an onion from the metal basket hanging by the end of one of the cabinets and set it next to the tomatoes.

"Dice the tomatoes and the onions and shred the cheese and the lettuce."

Jason pulled out a drawer and grabbed the cheese grater to hand to Kaylee.

"I'll get the rice started and cook up the beans."

Kaylee took the metal grater and looked at the items in question. She studied the grater as Jason pulled out two pots and filled one with water to heat on the stove. He emptied two cans of refried beans into the other and then put a lid over each pot, though he didn't turn the burner on under the beans.

Kaylee stared at the block of cheese sealed in plastic and tried to remember what grated cheese looked like. She'd seen it on some of the foods Jess had made before, but she hadn't watched Jess grate the cheese itself.

Jason felt the confusion coming from his mother and looked up from rinsing out the cans and putting them in the recycling bin.

"Oh, whoops. Guess I forgot about that part. Here, I'll show you," Jason started.

"Wait. Try to show me with your mind. It'll be a good lesson in clearly visualizing your thoughts," Kaylee said.

"O- kay," Jason said a little uncertainly.

"Don't worry. It's going to take practice," Kaylee reassured him.

Jason nodded and took a slow deep breath to calm his sudden nervousness. He closed his eyes and tried to remember the last time he had grated cheese. Memories of whittling a piece of a tree branch and the small shavings that had covered his hands and jeans-covered leg came to mind, but he pushed the thoughts away.

Then he saw the cheese falling from the other side of the grater and onto a plate and tried to send the image to Kaylee.

Pull back-- --all of it.

"What?" Jason asked out loud.

Pull back from the image. Let me see all of it.

Jason tried to focus his thoughts and use them like a camera lens to widen the image so that Kaylee could see everything he was doing. He was mostly successful, but even Jason could tell his thoughts were less than clear.

"Try to imagine doing it now. Don't rely completely on memory," Kaylee softly instructed.

Jason's brow furrowed and he shut his eyes tighter to try to block out the kitchen lights a little better. He imagined himself taking the cheese from Kaylee's hands and pulling open the plastic. Then he took out the cheese and threw the plastic into the trash. The images were jerky and imposed themselves over each other and out of sequence, but it was a start.

Jason saw himself picking up the cheese grater and holding it at an angle, bracing it against the inside curve of the plate. He took the block of cheese, which had been cut into three pieces in one of the overlapping scenes, and dragged one of the pieces over the grater. Then the earlier image of strips of cheese falling onto the plate reasserted itself and Jason opened his eyes.

"How was that?" he asked.

"That was very good. What I asked you to do is very difficult. We don't usually convey directions with our thoughts because it's not easy to be clear about what exactly is being taught, but I think it will make regular communication much easier for you. We also don't have much time to teach you what you need to know, so your lessons are going to be more intense than if we had several years to spend on your education."

"It was really good?" Jason asked for confirmation.

"Yes, it was really good. Many of my crew would have difficulty doing what you just did."

"Really?" Jason asked again.

Kaylee smiled.

Really, she thought.

Cool.

You see, emotions are much easier to send.

Like when you tell Mom you love her. It's not with words, Jason sent.

Because emotions don't need words or pictures, Kaylee replied.

"Yeah," Jason said quietly.

Kaylee walked over to Jason and lifted his chin up so that he had to look her in the eyes.

"What's wrong, Jase?" Kaylee asked quietly.

"Nothing. I just always wished my mom would find someone that would love her and not break her heart the way I think my dad did. I mean, I know she wasn't in love with him or anything, but I think he really hurt her when he left. Why did he do that?"

Kaylee hugged her son and then held him at arm's length.

"I can only tell you Jonaran's side of the story. And I'm pretty sure what he knows isn't even half of it, but it might help you understand a little more about your father. I don't think he meant to hurt your mom. In fact, from what Jonaran told us, it sounds like he was trying to protect her."

"He was?"

"Yeah."

Kaylee picked up the cheese grater and the block of cheese and started mimicking what she'd received from Jason's mind.

"Why don't you work on the tomatoes and onions while I tell you what your grandfather said?"

Jason picked up the knife and rolled a tomato onto the cutting board. He diced as Kaylee repeated what Jonaran had said, interjecting thoughts and feelings she'd picked up from the older man as he'd told his story.

By the time dinner was almost ready, Kaylee had relayed everything Jonaran had told her and Jess about Michael Barnes. She had even included the part where Jess had threatened Jonaran's life if he tried to take Jason away from them.

"Mom really said that?" Jason asked as he mixed the sautéed onions into the slightly bubbling beans.

"Said what?" Jess asked as she walked in on the tale end of the story.

"That you'd kill Jonaran with your bare hands if he touched Jason," Kaylee supplied.

Jess blushed a little and looked at the tiled floor. She'd been a little upset at the time and hadn't really thought about what she was saying. She'd just been unable to stand the thought of losing Jason, especially when it looked like she was about to lose Kaylee, too.

"Yeah, well I..."

Jess couldn't say she hadn't really meant it because she had. She still did.

I know. It's okay. No one's going to take him away.

Jess looked up at Kaylee and offered a nod of acceptance. Kaylee wouldn't let anything happen to Jason if she could at all help it, Jess was sure of that.

"So, what's for dinner? It smells great," Jess changed the subject.

"Burritos. We just need to heat up the tortillas in the oven," Jason answered.

Jess stopped her forward motion toward the fridge.

"We don't have any tortillas. We used up the last ones for those homemade nachos we had last week."

Jason looked up at his mother and smiled a little guiltily.

"Oops?" he tried.

"Jaaysuuun," Jess groaned.

"I know, I know. Make sure I have all the ingredients before I start cooking something. But Kaylee distracted me," Jason quickly pointed a finger at Kaylee.

Kaylee looked at Jess's frowning face in alarm, then at Jason.

"I did not. When did I do that?"

"Yes you did. You made me practice my telepathy and I forgot to check for the tortillas."

"Oh, so that makes your bad memory my fault?" Kaylee asked in defense.

"Yep," Jason replied smugly.

"Oh, okay, I see how this works," Kaylee said and started advancing on her self-righteous son.

Jason's grin left his face and seemed to migrate to Kaylee's as she continued to stalk him. Jason looked to his other mother for help, but she was too busy laughing at the predicament her son had gotten himself into to be of much assistance.

"Wait. I was just kidding. Really," Jason's last words were thrown over his shoulder as he darted out of the room with Kaylee hot on his heels.

Jess jogged after them and quickly caught up to the squealing pair as they traded tickles on the couch in the den. Jess reflected that it wouldn't be very long before Jason considered tickle fests to be too immature to participate in and she decided to join in while her son was still young enough to enjoy the attention.

Several minutes later, the heavily breathing trio made their way back to the kitchen and moved dinner to the table.

"That'll teach you to try to get me in trouble," Kaylee told Jason.

"Oh yeah, I can see how that was a real lesson in taking responsibility for one's mistakes," Jess quipped.

Jason chuckled at his bantering mothers, but kept his head down. His stomach was sore from laughing so much and he wasn't sure he could take round two. He finished placing the serving utensils in their dishes and sat down at the table. Jess and Kaylee took their seats and Jess started serving up the beans and rice onto the plates she was handed.

"So, you said you were practicing telepathy? How'd it go?" Jess asked.

"Kaylee said I did pretty good," Jason answered.

"He did really well," Kaylee corrected.

"Yeah?" Jess asked.

Kaylee shook her head and smiled to herself. Now she knew where Jason got it from.

"Yeah. There are a few things we need to talk about Jason's family line, but it can wait. Did you find anyone to watch the ranch for us while we're gone?"

Jess nodded as she sprinkled cheese over her heavily laden plate.

"Alice said she can work out of the ranch and she and Carson will just stay here until I can find a more permanent arrangement. I called just about everyone I know, so I should probably be getting some callbacks first thing tomorrow morning. Then I'll set up some interviews and hopefully I'll find someone fast," Jess said doubtfully.

"Maybe I could help," Kaylee said.

"How?" Jess asked.

"Well, I could read their thoughts. I'd be able to tell you if they were trustworthy or not."

Jess frowned.

"It would go a lot faster that way," Kaylee added hopefully.

Kaylee didn't like the thought of leaving Jess behind to interview potential ranch hands while she organized the ship building process in Tennessee. In fact, the whole idea of being separated from Jess for any amount of time made Kaylee's stomach hurt and her head ache.

Please don't go away.

The thought was echoing in Jess's head before Kaylee even realized she'd had it. Jess felt all of the emotions attached to the thought and stared into Kaylee's eyes to see if she'd just imagined the whole thing or if Kaylee really had sent the thought to her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to think that," Kaylee said.

"Hey, that's not fair. I couldn't hear what you were thinking," Jason pouted jokingly, but then sobered when he saw the intensity between his two mothers. "Are you doing that bonding thing?" he asked curiously.

Jess broke her gaze away from Kaylee and looked at Jason in question.

"What bonding thing?" she asked.

"Kaylee said you guys are bonded so you could hear her thoughts from a galaxy away. Is that why I can't hear you? Because it's that bonding thing?" Jason asked again.

Jess looked to Kaylee for an explanation.

"What is he talking about?" Jess asked.

"It's something that happens among my kind. When we bond the way you and I have, thoughts and emotions are shared without regard for time or place. It's one of the few secrets we've kept from the Zaru. We were afraid if they found out the effect falling in love has on our species, we'd end up being split up and used as communications equipment."

"But I'm not… What are your people called, anyway?" Jess suddenly asked.

"Well, there's the technical term, like your homo sapiens sapiens, but the general term is dokäré."

The way Kaylee spoke the foreign word reminded Jess of the way Louis Gossett, Jr. had portrayed the language of his alien lizard character in the movie Enemy Mine. The first syllable was pronounced like the female deer with very little emphasis placed on it. The second syllable was drawn out with a hint of phlegm, like a combination of the ch sound in the Scottish loch and the ch sound in the Jewish Chanukah, and had major emphasis put on it, while the r's of the last syllable were trilled the way they are in Spanish. The ay sound was drawn out almost in a whisper.

"And then there are the clan names, but those identities have been all but wiped out since the Zaru enslaved us. There was no room for clan pride. We all had to work together if we wanted to survive," Kaylee continued.

"Well, like I was about to say, I'm human, not.. dokuhray."

Kaylee flinched a little at the mispronunciation of her people's name, but tried not to let it show.

"Why would I be able to hear your thoughts without you trying to send them to me?" Jess continued.

"Because we're one, sort of. Sending a thought to you is the equivalent of my brain telling my lungs to breathe for me. It's not something I have to try to do, though I can change how fast or slow I breathe and I can even hold my breath if I want to for a short while. And it's the same in reverse. I'm linked to you, so I pick up on what you're thinking and feeling without you trying to send to me, though that does help and I still want you to practice so that you'll be able to talk with the others at the factory when we go to live there. But it will never matter how far apart we are. I will always be able to hear you."

Jess was clearly unhappy with the lack of privacy she had suddenly been informed of, but she knew there was nothing she could really do about it. She loved Kaylee and if that meant she didn't get to have any private thoughts, then so be it.

"I guess I'll just have to get used to my mind being an open book to you," Jess said.

"No, it's not quite like that. It's just if you send to me or if I send to you, distance will have no effect on our communication. It's an asset, not a liability," Kaylee tried to explain.

"But I heard you and you said you weren't trying to send to me," Jess pointed out.

"Well, I wasn't consciously trying to send to you, but I think I wanted you to hear me anyway," Kaylee said quietly.

"Oh," Jess said just as softly.

"What did you say to her?" Jason questioned.

"Jason," Jess warned.

"What? Did she swear or something?" Jason continued.

"Jason, it's between Kaylee and me. Leave it alone."

"Sorry. I was just asking," Jason sulked.

"It's okay. You just need to learn when to back off."

"All right, all right. I get it," Jason said.

The table was quiet for a few minutes as they all went back to eating, but then Jason broke the silence and asked Kaylee a new question that was a lot less personal.

"You said Mom's gonna have to train, too?"

Kaylee looked up from her meal and lost the introverted expression she'd been wearing for the last few minutes.

"Yeah. You're both going to have to learn to control your thoughts. It'll be easier for you than it will be for your mom because part of your abilities includes a natural tendency to control them." Kaylee turned to Jess. "But you're going to have to rely on sheer practice to attain a measure of control for your mind."

"Well, there's meditation and yoga," Jess mentioned.

"What are those?" Kaylee asked.

"Well, yoga is sort of a system of exercises mixed with philosophical and spiritual ideas. I took a yoga class once, but I haven't practiced it for a few years. There are tapes that people can buy to learn different kinds of techniques, so I could probably order some of those. The best yogis have the ability to control their bodily functions, like slowing down their heartbeats, and they can practically stop breathing altogether for really long periods of time. There's also biofeedback, which is supposed to help some people with anxiety and high blood pressure. And meditation is mostly just sitting still and trying not to think about anything at all, which is really hard since your mind usually wants to fill in the emptiness with something," Jess explained.

"That sounds perfect. Get as much information on those techniques as you can. They'd probably help Jason, too," Kaylee said and turned her head to look at the boy.

Jason pouted.

"Great. I get to learn to be a pretzel," he muttered only half-jokingly.

Kaylee turned a puzzled look on Jess. Jess smiled.

"Some of the exercises are a little physically complicated," Jess said vaguely and left it at that.

Dinner was eventually consumed and all three of them worked to get the dishes done and the remainder of the meal put away. Then Jason suggested a Nintendo "battle to the death" and both Jess and Kaylee accepted the challenge.

Two hours later, Kaylee reigned supreme and Jason had to concede he'd underestimated his mama.

"But I won't next time," Jason promised before heading up to bed.

"Ah, sh- damn," Jess stuttered over her sudden exclamation. "Jason? Did you have any homework?" she called to her retreating son.

Jason paused on the stairs and turned around.

"A little, but I can get it done in the morning before school. I'll just wake up a little early or do it on the bus. Okay?" Jason hoped.

"All right. Go brush your teeth and get ready for bed. We'll be up to say goodnight in a few minutes," Jess let her son off the hook.

"Okay," Jason said as he turned around to trot up the stairs again.

"I'm glad I got the stables finished this afternoon or those poor guys would be starving out there," Jess admonished herself. "And I was picking on Jase for having a bad memory," she continued.

"A lot's happened today. You've had a lot to take in. You can't be expected to remember everything," Kaylee consoled her.

"Yeah, but I feel like I do."

"But you don't," Kaylee said again a little more forcefully.

Kaylee unfolded the blanket resting on the back of the couch and laid it out in front of the fireplace. She pulled several pillows off the couch and set them on the blanket in strategically comfortable places. She looked up at Jess and smiled at the raised eyebrow she was receiving.

"I think after we make sure Jason is in bed, we should hold each other in front of the fire. It seems to have a calming effect on us and after a day like today, we both really need to relax," Kaylee explained her actions.

Jess nodded.

"Sounds good to me," Jess agreed.

They went upstairs and found Jason already in bed and fast asleep with his lights still on.

"I guess he had a pretty hard day, too," Jess whispered.

Kaylee nodded and pulled the covers up to Jason's chest. She kissed his forehead and whispered an old bedtime saying from her childhood to his sleeping ears and then stood up again. Jess bent over beside her and made her own offering to her son's unconscious form and then they both left his room, turning off the lights before pulling his door almost completely shut.

"What did you say to him?" Jess asked as they walked down the stairs to the den.

"I said 'Melora's stars are your mind. They shine within you. Let yourself go to them in your dreams and they will become your reality.' Well, it's a close approximation anyway," Kaylee shrugged her shoulders as they settled onto the blanket and stretched out in front of the fireplace.

"What does it mean?"

"Um, well, the first part is just talking about how everything in the universe came from the same place and how, on the quantum level, one type of matter is indistinguishable from any other type, and energy and matter are two states of the same thing. The second part is more spiritual and refers to the belief that the divine is within everything, that there's no need to look anywhere else but within yourself to find the strength you need and the answers you seek. The last part is kind of a wish and a hope that what you dream of and wish for will come true for you and that if you want something strongly enough, you'll be able to achieve whatever it is."

"So, who's Melora?"

"Oh, she's a goddess, sort of. I mean, she's kind of a mythical figure, but many of my people believe she was real. The story goes that she came from the future and was actually the culmination of what my species will become some day. She refused to tell anyone anything about the future, but she made several statements about how to perceive the world and she's credited with showing us dokäré how to cultivate our abilities."

"Huh. Sounds sort of like a cross between Buddha and Jesus Christ," Jess commented.

"Who?" Kaylee asked.

"Oh, they're two religious icons of this world. Buddha was a prince who ended up founding his own religion, or maybe it was his followers that did that. And Jesus was supposed to be the Christ, the Messiah sent to save humans from sin, according to the bible that was written after his death. He was also supposed to be the son of the Jewish God, who sent him to Earth, though his followers consider themselves Christians, not Jews. There are actually hundreds of different religious figures from all the different religions that people follow," Jess explained.

"It sounds like you don't believe any of the stories are true," Kaylee observed.

"I don't. I mean, I'm sure some of them have historical truth to them, maybe even all of them. But I wasn't there and neither was anyone else that could set the record straight now. I have no problem with people taking things on faith, but when they try to tell me how to live my life based on their interpretations of long dead people and events they themselves don't truly understand, that's when I have a problem."

"'Religion… A system of religious belief.' But humans use that system to tell them how to live and they expect that one way to work for everybody?" Kaylee asked a little confused.

"Yeah, that's about it," Jess confirmed.

"But that goes against the laws of the universe itself. Two atoms can't occupy the same space at the same time. They can't travel the exact same path because even if they moved on the same line at the same speed, one would be ahead in time and the other would be behind. I've watched your television. Humans know this universal law."

"Ah, well, see we humans don't like to mix science and religion. Too many contradictions for either side to take," Jess smirked derisively at her species' inability to keep an open mind when it came to possibly being proven wrong about something.

"Contradictions? Yes, I guess there are many things that still can't be explained about the universe, but your people already know so much. I don't understand how they could make such a.. a mistake."

Then Kaylee realized the truth and answered her own question.

"No, I guess I do understand. It's the same here as it is everywhere. Fear of the unknown causes people to do things they would normally condemn in another. Like when the Zaru learned of our ability to read minds. They became afraid of us and used their superior weapons to defeat and enslave us. Thousands of years ago, we would have been able to defend ourselves, but we turned from destructive practices and discontinued building armaments."

"What about now? You said you can beat them. How will you do that without weapons?" Jess asked.

"We won't. We have weapons now. Our technology has always been superior; we just hadn't used it for weaponry in several millennia. That's why we were so easily taken. But we've been designing our plan of attack for years now. We've had time to work underground and we've far surpassed the Zaru's defensive and offensive technology. They will have no choice but to surrender or be annihilated," Kaylee said seriously.

Jess thought about Kaylee being responsible for the annihilation of another species. It wasn't a happy thought. Kaylee seemed too innocent to be in charge of an entire race's war effort.

"How did you become Commander?" Jess asked.

"That's kind of a long story. But basically I was born for it," Kaylee said with an undertone of annoyance.

Jess could tell the irritation wasn't directed at her questioning, though, so she continued.

"I don't understand. Are you royalty?"

"Can we talk about it later?" Kaylee suddenly implored.

Jess watched as Kaylee's expression went from reserved exasperation to almost undisguised fear and she seemed unable to meet Jess's eyes. Jess unconsciously tried to listen for stray thoughts to help her understand Kaylee's reluctance to answer her questions.

--can't lose her--won't understand--Melora, please--

The words were interspersed with images and feelings Jess couldn't quite figure out, though she distinctly remembered seeing some kind of family tree chart and people discussing Kaylee while she was a child, who was listening when she wasn't supposed to be.

Jess shook her head a little to clear it. If Kaylee didn't want to talk about it, Jess wasn't going to force the issue.

"I'm sorry. I just want to know about you. I want you to tell me about yourself. That's all," Jess said quietly.

Kaylee looked up from where she'd been studying the fire-lit blanket.

"What do you want to know?" Kaylee asked and Jess could feel Kaylee's fear that Jess would repeat her questions of a few moments ago.

"Well, like how old are you? What planet are you from? How far away is it? Is it like Earth? Do you have family there? Are your parents still alive? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Do you have, um…" …a husband, wife, lover… "…um, a lot of friends? I just want to know everything about you and your life."

Kaylee listened to all of the questions and tried to put them in order so that she could answer them all, but then she frowned as the unspoken thoughts of her bondmate filtered into her mind. A quick check of her internal dictionary confirmed her first understanding and she reached out to take Jess's hand. Her own fear had blinded her to Jess's real reasons for questioning Kaylee about her past.

"I was unattached before I met you. There is no one to come between us, Jess," Kaylee said.

It was Jess's turn to study the blanket. She couldn't help her thoughts, but she was a little annoyed with herself for not bringing them out for Kaylee to address directly. She didn't have long to dwell on them, though, because Kaylee sat up a little straighter and went on to answer Jess's spoken questions.

"And I think I'm about thirty-seven of your years…"

"You're thirty-seven years old?" Jess asked in astonishment.

Jess had been sure she was older than Kaylee, but that put the alien woman eight years ahead of her.

"Yes, I think so. We count time a little differently, but I believe I have the conversion right."

"What's your people's lifespan?" Jess asked curiously.

Kaylee did some more calculations in her head.

"Two-hundred-twenty-three. At least, it used to be. But most of my people are lucky to reach a hundred and eighty now. Being slaves to the Zaru is hard work and we don't usually get the medical attention we need or deserve, unless our services are crucial."

"What did you do before you started working for the underground?"

"I was a pilot. But I continued working for the Masters right up until the Basada Massacre. We had actually planned to rebel several months ago, when we first learned of the holdouts in this sector, but…"

"Wait, I thought you knew about Jonaran the whole time?" Jess interrupted.

"Well, the underground is very fragmented. We lost some key people right after Jonaran arrived here and the information concerning Earth was only recently rediscovered when we liberated several of our people from a prison camp on Verastos Prime. They'd been taken for interrogation, like millions of others, but they were considered low priority, so they just sat in their cells for the past.. forty years," Kaylee did another quick time conversion. "But a lot of our people are in the same situation. They're brought in for questioning on something and then forgotten about. And then, if one of the Masters suddenly remembers about them, or decides they're not needed anymore, they're tortured to death or simply executed to make room for others. It has to stop."

Jess could see the total conviction in Kaylee's eyes. Kaylee would free her people or die trying. There would be no compromise. Realization of what Jess and her son had agreed to become a part of began to sink in for the first time that day.

She was going to war. She was bringing her little boy with her. And they both might never come back. They could all die.

"Oh my god," Jess breathed out suddenly, finding it harder and harder to take a breath at all as she curled into a head first fetal position.

Kaylee had Jess in her arms in an instant. She turned Jess on her side to help her breathe easier and held her as she stroked the woman's hair off her forehead. They rocked together as Jess cried some of her worst fears out. But a few minutes later, a very sleep bedraggled Jason stumbled his way into the den.

"Mom? What's going on? You okay?" Jason mumbled, still half-asleep, but the concern was clear in his voice.

"Mama? What happened?" Jason redirected his question to Kaylee as he sat down on their makeshift nest and opened his eyes wide several times to try to wake himself up a little more.

Kaylee wrapped an arm around him and gently pulled him into her and Jess. Jess immediately drew her arms away from where she had been holding her chest and enveloped Jason in a strong hug that practically pulled him to the floor with her. Jason was startled at the intensity of emotion he could feel pouring off his mother.

What's wrong? Jason thought to her.

Jess shook her head against her son's mental question, unable to come up with a response.

"It's been a really long day, Jason. I think it's finally starting to catch up to your mom now, that's all. She'll be okay," Kaylee softly told him.

Jason looked unconvinced, but Jess finally sat up and released her son so that she could use her hands to wipe at her tears.

"I'm okay, Jason. Really." Jess sniffed a little and tried to clear her throat. "It just hit me that all of this is real. It's sort of felt like a dream. Everything's happened so fast. But then Kaylee was telling me about what's been done to her people and it made me think of the things I've watched about the Holocaust. I don't know if I can take you into that."

Jason looked at his mother in alarm.

"Wait a minute. You can't leave me behind. Kaylee's people are my people, too. And she even said that if we don't stop them, they'll probably come here next. And anyway, even if I stayed here, I could get shot by some kid at school. There's no place I could go that's safe."

Jason had no way of knowing how prophetic that last statement would turn out to be as he tried to gauge which way his mother was leaning in her decision making process. He decided to press the advantage.

"Mom, I want to help. Please don't make me stay behind."

Kaylee could tell Jess was undecided, so she made her own decision to tip the scales a bit.

He's right. He won't really be any safer if he stays here. And I would feel better having him with us.

The 'us' was Kaylee's way of reconfirming that Jess still intended to come with her, something she had suddenly become unsure of.

Both Jason and Kaylee nervously waited for Jess to choose all of their futures. They were both sure that Jess wanted them all to stay together, but they knew fear was a powerful incentive to go against one's heart.

Jess sat between the two most important people in her life and tried to think logically through her emotions.

On the one hand, she wanted her family to be safe from harm at any cost, but she knew Jason was right. There was no safe place. People were run down by drunk drivers or shot by emotionally unstable children all the time nowadays. Even staying locked up in your own home could get you killed from natural disasters, like earthquakes, floods, and tornadoes.

On the other hand, there was no question that taking herself and her child into a war zone posed some rather serious health risks. She didn't know all the details of their upcoming mission, but she was pretty sure they were going to be in outer space most of the time and that meant that even if they weren't attacked face-to-face, damage to the ship could end their lives just as easily as a lasershot to the heart.

But Jess had always tried to live her life with the idea that tomorrow might never come, so she'd better get the most out of today. She'd lost a little bit of that fearless spirit as the years of being a single mother had added up, but her soul was still pretty much that of an adventurer, as it had always been. Could she really hold herself, and her son, back from what would most likely be the most important thing they ever did with their lives? Didn't she owe it to her son, and to herself, to go for it?

Jess finally nodded her head and saw the relief and the smiles on Jason's and Kaylee's faces. She smiled slightly in return and felt a little less selfish knowing that they both not only agreed with her decision, but had been hoping for it.

Jess glanced at the clock on the wall and immediately switched into mother mode.

"Hey, what are you doing up? You should be in bed," she pretended to admonish the boy.

Jason went with it and dutifully played his part of the incorrigible son, now that everything seemed to be okay.

"Well, maybe if you guys didn't stay up until all hours of the night, I wouldn't get woken up and have to come check on you," Jason retorted.

"Yeah, yeah. Likely story. Well, we're going to bed now, so you don't have an excuse to be up anymore. Go on, get going," Jess replied as she and Kaylee got to their feet.

Kaylee gathered up the pillows and blanket and put them back on the couch, though she neglected to refold the blanket. She smiled to herself at the resiliency of Jess and Jason's relationship. Kaylee knew, as long as she had them both with her, she would be able to accomplish anything she needed to.

They all made their way up the stairs and then parted company at Jason's bedroom door, giving hugs and kisses and saying their goodnights before heading to their separate beds. It was a necessary reaffirmation of their family ties after a day full of moments that could have torn them apart.

As Kaylee settled herself next to Jess's warm body, she thought about all that lay ahead of them. There was so much work that needed to be done and very little time left to do it in. She didn't even want to think about what would have happened if she hadn't gotten her memory back as soon as she did. Kaylee knew she wasn't the only person who could lead the fleet against the Zaru's warships, but she was the only person she believed could do the job right.

Go to sleep. We've got a busy day tomorrow, Jess quietly let her thoughts be heard by her bondmate.

Kaylee smiled into the darkness and let the feelings of love and closeness carry her into sleep.