Chapter 32

Rain watched the road through her binoculars and placed a mark next to each of the license plate numbers she saw as the next string of cars went by. As the sun began to set and the time came closer and closer, she tried not to think about what she was helping Case to do, but her conscience was relentless.

There had to be a way for her to remain with Case without having to kill the leaders of the Carlotti organization. That wasn't what she'd been assigned to do, even if she was starting to think it might be justified. It wasn't her place to decide their punishment for breaking the law. If she'd wanted to do that job, she would have become a judge.

Carlotti was already dead, and there was nothing she could do about that. If she was being really honest with herself, there was nothing she wanted to do about that. But she was going to be responsible for the deaths of nearly six-dozen people, since by her count, for each boss that had been invited, they all seemed to be bringing two seconds and each of their drivers. Criminal or not, Rain didn't think she could allow herself to become a party to mass murder. If she went along with it on the grounds that they deserved it for the things they'd done, then she had to agree that Case deserved to die as well, and Rain didn't believe that was true.

She loved Case and she would stand by her through everything, but she couldn't justify so many deaths simply because she loved Case. Those were people in that building, and they were going to die if she did nothing.

As Rain continued to watch the road, she finally made her decision and entered the emergency number on her cell phone. It rang twice and then she heard the line pick up.

"Special Agent Dawson speaking."

"It's Rain. There's something big going down at the warehouse at the end of State Street in about half an hour."

"What's going on?" he asked.

Rain smiled wryly. She'd been asking that question all day.

"Just hurry up and send a team with a bomb squad," she ordered, and then hung up before he could protest.

Rain put the cell phone away and checked off the numbers she saw on the next few cars that passed her by. She didn't want to think she was betraying Case, but it was hard to look at what she'd done as anything else.

Rain sighed. The deed was done and she couldn't take it back now. She continued to mark off the cars that drove by until there was at least one for each boss. Then they stopped coming.

Rain heard Case walking over to her a couple minutes after the last set of cars had driven past and she looked up as she put the binoculars down.

"Let me see the notepad," Case requested, and Rain handed it to her.

Case scanned the list to double-check her own mental inventory and nodded her head.

"They're all here. The last ones just went inside," Case said, and turned to go back to the truck for the detonator.

Rain grabbed her wrist.

"Wait. You don't have to do this."

Case stopped and turned around to face her. The look on her face was patient, but not incredibly open. Rain went ahead anyway.

"You can testify against Carlotti's men and bring them to justice the right way. I know you don't trust the law; you've never been given much reason to, but trust me. I won't let anything happen to you."

"You're not the one I have to trust. You don't even have the power to make that kind of deal. And the kind of justice you're talking about is bullshit. It doesn't matter whether those guys are behind bars or not. As long as they're alive, they'll continue to run the organization. And then they'll know it was me and I'll end up with a death sentence."

"But we can protect you," Rain argued. "I'll personally see to it that you're kept safe from harm. I've had experience as a bodyguard and I know you can take care of yourself. Together, no one should be able to touch us," Rain said confidently.

"God, you just don't get it, do you?" Case said in exasperation. "I don't want to be on the run for the rest of my life, Rebecca, and I don't want you to have to look over your shoulder all the time either. But that's how it's going to be if I don't kill them now. You're just going to have to trust me on this one. I know these people better than anyone because I'm one of them, or at least I used to be," Case amended. "If someone double-crossed me the way I'm about to do these guys, I wouldn't rest until they were all dead. In fact, Antonio is a good example. He crossed me and now he'll never have the chance to cross me again. The men in that building knew what he was planning and went along with it, so as far as I'm concerned, they get everything Carlotti got. No loose ends. If I let those men live, they'll find out I killed Carlotti. And then if I testify, that'll be another dozen nails in my coffin. Not to mention yours. FBI agents aren't immune to having hits put out on them either. This is the only way to take care of all those problems once and for all. Can't you see that?"

"No. There's always another way," Rain protested.

"Not this time," Case replied quietly.

"I can't just stand aside and watch you kill..."

"Why not? You've been doing it for three years," Case interrupted her.

Rain paused in confusion.

"What are you talking about? I only met you a week ago."

"But you've been working for Carlotti for three years. You've killed people to protect his people. You've helped him sell drugs, kept him in power. You've done just about everything I have, but somehow it's okay because you weren't doing it for real. You could walk away at any time and just go back to your real life. But all the people he hurt, all the money he made... You were living off that money the same as the rest of us."

"I was undercover. I couldn't..." Rain began to protest.

"Oh, so it's all right because you were going to do something about Carlotti. How many people have died in the last three years, huh? How many women have been raped and killed? How many people have gotten addicted to the drugs he sold? How many cops have been killed? How many agents? How many kids have gone to bed each night knowing they're going to become part of the business, if they aren't already? How many people have lived in fear for the past three years because they didn't know if they were next on my list? How many people have been blackmailed and threatened each day just to keep their mouths shut or cough up some money for "protection"? All while you "gathered evidence." Did you ever do one damn thing to help those people?! Did it ever even occur to you? And now suddenly when it's all on the line, when it's all real, you want to tell me no?!"

Rain stood speechless. She wanted to argue, but her mind was a blank. Everything Case had said was true. She'd been so focused on putting a case together against Carlotti and his people that she'd never once considered any other alternatives. She'd grown up in the system believing it was the best and only way to do things, while Case had lived outside of the system, learning about its flaws firsthand, as she became one of its casualties.

"You can live in your goddamn fantasy, but it doesn't change a thing. Your cop friends can't come in here and just make it all better. If they could, they would have been able to stop Carlotti a long time ago, but that's not how the system works." Case sighed. "Maybe you can't take responsibility for the things you've done, but I am. These people aren't going to have a change of heart and I'm not going to let them live just so you and your friends can feel like you did the right thing. It's not the right thing, and maybe what I'm doing isn't right either, but at least they'll never be able to hurt anyone else again."

Rain looked down and noticed the time on her watch. Her gut twisted as she realized she'd made a terrible mistake. She looked up at Case.

"I already called for backup. They'll be here in only a few minutes. You better hurry."

"Shit!" Case cursed and started to turn away.

"I'm sorry. I had to do something. I couldn't just let you murder several dozen people," Rain explained.

Case rounded on her.

"I know about Danny Cutillo, so don't even try to pull that sanctimonious shit with me!" Case spat out. She pointed angrily towards the warehouse that was nearly a mile away. "The people in that building did more than take a brother from me. They took my life away. They made me a slave and turned me into the person that is now going to do whatever I have to do to get my life back. This is my last job and all I want is my freedom and a chance at a normal life. I don't care what I have to do," Case swore.

Rain nodded guiltily. One life or dozens, revenge was revenge. She knew Case also saw it as self-defense, their earlier debate on the subject easily coming to mind. But either way, Rain realized if she truly intended to stop Case, she was going to have to kill her. And Rain decided that just wasn't going to happen. Especially not for something she couldn't even argue against very well.

Case ran to the truck and grabbed the detonator from the glove compartment. She ran over to where she'd been watching the warehouse before and brought up the binoculars. Then she depressed the red button under her thumb, but it wasn't until she released it again that the bombs were triggered.

The building exploded in several different places, intensifying the initial shockwave and sending the nearby cars flying through the air, the drivers themselves on fire from the blast of flames that billowed out of the obliterated structure. Case just barely remembered to close her eyes during the opening flash in order to keep from being blinded by the night-vision lenses of the binoculars. After a few more seconds to confirm the lack of living movement, Case ran back to the truck, and then over to where Rain was standing at her lookout point.

"The team just drove by," Rain informed her hesitantly, unsure of where she stood with Case.

"Get in the truck," Case ordered, as she ran for the black vehicle.

She thought she should still be mad at Rain, and in some ways she was, but she knew Rain had only been doing what she thought was best. And now they were sort of even for the way Case had manipulated Rain into helping her. She never would have been able to pull the whole thing off if it hadn't been for Rain's assistance, and she still needed her help.

"Where are we going?" Rain asked, as she quickly buckled herself in.

"I'm going to drop you off at Carlotti's. We need to figure out how we're going to explain everything, without actually explaining everything," Case said, as she put the truck into gear and pulled out onto the street. The long line of FBI cars and trucks were already far down the road going in the opposite direction. "I hadn't planned on them showing up so soon, so we're going to have to change a few things."

"Like what?" Rain asked.

"Well, I'd intended to make the whole thing look like a takeover between Carlotti and several of his bosses, and the bosses were taken out by someone else, though they'd never figure out who. And you could just say I left you at the hotel, but with the way things went down, that's never gonna fly," Case said as she maneuvered the massive SUV through traffic. "And I'm supposed to be dead back there in all that wreckage," she added.

Rain nodded and took a deep breath. She was going to have a lot of explaining to do back at headquarters, and she'd have to make it look good if she wanted to have any chance of keeping her job, or staying out of prison for that matter.

She considered joining Case and leaving the country with her in order to avoid that risk, but she knew it was a one-way ticket. If she left now, she'd never be able to come back, and she just couldn't burn that bridge yet. She didn't know if it was loyalty or stupidity, but she wanted the FBI to have some kind of closure. Or maybe it was just she who needed the closure. She felt as though if she ran with Case now, she'd always be running.

"What do you want me to tell them?" Rain finally asked.

Case glanced at her and then went back to watching the road.

"Well, the one thing you can't tell them about is your involvement with me. If they even suspect that we were lovers, you'll end up with your own prison sentence."

"I know," Rain said, though she didn't like the past tense Case used to refer to their relationship.

"And you can't tell them you weren't at Carlotti's. All they'd need to do is find a single strand of your hair and your story would be blown out of the water," Case continued as she thought out loud.

"Okay, so I was there. But why?" Rain questioned, starting the process of fabricating her account of that night.

They went back and forth, one throwing out an idea and the other trying to punch holes in it, as they formulated what they hoped was a good cover story for the day's events. By the time they reached Carlotti's, they'd gone over the whole story several times, making sure Rain had it down pat. They made a few changes to the scene of the crime to conform to the story, and then walked outside until they came to a stop in front of Case's black SUV.

As they stood in the parking lot, Case had a hard time looking at Rain. She'd never said goodbye before. Leaving had never been important since she'd never cared about anyone she left behind, but at the moment, her feelings seemed to be on the surface, raw and exposed, and it hurt. She didn't want to say goodbye.

Rain was having the same problem. She was terrified she was never going to see Case again. She didn't want to let the woman out of her sight, but as much as she wished time would stop for them, the clock was still ticking.

Rain moved first and pulled Case into a hug. Case took it stiffly, but after a few moments, she returned the hug, holding Rain tightly. Case didn't want to cry, but the tears fell from her eyes anyway, and she could feel little tremors in Rain's body that told her the agent was crying, too.

Rain kissed the side of Case's head and slowly made her way down to Case's mouth. Their tears mingled as their lips met, and their tongues slowly moved over and around each other. They both tried to memorize the taste of the other's mouth, not wanting to lose this last chance to be close to one another. Finally, they pulled away and leaned their foreheads against each other as they tried to catch their breaths.

It was another minute before Case was able to break the tableau, as she began edging her way towards the driver's side of her truck.

"You have to go," Case told her.

"I know," Rain replied, though she didn't move.

"I guess... I'll see you when I see you," Case said.

Rain nodded. They'd already discussed where Case was going, along with her new identity, but Rain knew it would be at least a month before she could meet her. It would take that long to wrap up the investigation if the FBI bought her story. If they didn't, Rain probably wouldn't be going anywhere for 10-15 years.

"You could come with me," Case suddenly said on impulse.

Rain smiled softly, but she shook her head.

"No. I need to do this. I can't..." Rain took a deep breath. "I have an obligation. I just need to see this through."

Case nodded. She'd already known Rain wouldn't be able to just leave. She wasn't even sure why she'd suggested it. She felt so off balance. In less than a heartbeat, Case straightened up and pulled away from Rain's embrace. She had to leave now. She quickly swung open the door of her truck and jumped in, closing it behind her.

Rain stood by the open window, startled at Case's abrupt departure. She hadn't meant to hurt Case's feelings.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

Case realized what her actions must have looked like and she shook her head.

"No. It's not that. I just can't... It's taking too long," Case choked out.

Rain nodded in understanding. They were just prolonging their torture.

"I love you, Cassandra," Rain said thickly.

Case nodded. She tried to return the words, but her throat was too tight. Instead, she just mouthed them and hoped Rain could see her in the dark. She started up her truck and backed up. She did a one-eighty turn and then sped down the driveway. The motion detectors activated the gates, and they opened just in time to let Case through.

Case blinked away her tears so that she could see to drive. She felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest over and over again and she couldn't breathe. She drove on autopilot, hardly even seeing the signs that brought her closer to the airport. But as she got further away from Rain, she managed to get herself back to a more natural state of numbness.

She remembered to stop at the hospital on her way, and she snuck past the few attendants that were around in order to gain access to the incinerator. She pulled out her guns, popped the clips, and emptied the chambers of their bullets. Then she tossed the guns into the furnace. She watched the metal melt to slag, and then headed for the nearest bathroom. She threw the bullets into a trashcan and then went back out the way she'd come. She casually dropped the empty ammo clips into the trash receptacle beneath an ashtray near the exit. Then she continued on to the airport.

By the time Case was entering the long-term parking area, she'd completely focused herself on finishing the last part of her plan and getting herself out of the country. She chose a spot towards the back of the carport and then hopped out. She brought out her bags and then cleaned out the truck completely. She didn't even leave the owner's manual in the glove compartment.

Though she fully intended to continue to pay for the space for her truck on a monthly basis to keep it from sending up any red flags in the computers, she didn't want there to be any way for it to be connected to her or Carlotti if anyone did get curious about the vehicle. She didn't think it would be a problem, since she'd registered the vehicle under a false identity, which was completely unrelated to the one she was traveling under now. Plus, if she ever did come back, it would be nice if she had a vehicle waiting for her.

Case headed towards the entrance to the airport. The only thing she had to worry about now was being spotted by someone she knew.

Case slung her bags over her shoulder and walked to where she could see who was working the check in counters. She recognized one of the clerks, but he was taking care of the domestic flights. If she kept her head down, he probably wouldn't see her in the intercontinental airlines section.

Case stood in line and made sure to keep several people between herself and the guy's line of sight, but he appeared to be oblivious to everyone except the woman in front of his counter.

As the line slowly moved forward, Case couldn't stop thinking about the different flights she'd booked. She'd told Rain her first choice, but she hadn't mentioned the other possibilities. If she wanted to, she could pick a different destination, and Rain would never be able to find her. She'd never have to see Rain again and risk the possibility of losing her. She could just end it now and never have to deal with her feelings, or Rain's, ever again.

Finally, she was at the head of the line, and then she was called forward. She went through the routine of questions and check-in procedures. She made her decision and gave the confirmation number for the flight she'd decided on. Her bags were checked in and then she received her boarding pass and headed for her gate.

Two hours later, she was on her way.